A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "fek off!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse sh*t all over her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse sh1t from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a fekinng good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."