burden - do you need help?? it seems like you have maybe a bipolar disorder or something ke!!! you seem to be really depressed and then you get excited about how many people responded to you ni!! I suggest that get some drug therapy and go see maybe a humanistic therapist ke!!! So, that you don't dwell on the past as much and concentrate on the present! :) or the alternative: just call me! (wink,wink) :P