I'll beat the hell out of her and tell her to shut up. If she starts crying I'm gonna keep punching her in the gut till she stops crying and realizes who da man o' da hizzouse is. A recent paper in a very popular sociology publication suggests that women love it when they're controlled. Also buy a machete and claim you have links to MS-13. Gonna scare her. Whitney Houston is a very good example of a typical wife. Follow my advice and you're set for the rest of your life. She won't divorce you. Trust me. Also threaten a lawsuit of some kind. According to Freakonomics(good book, a must read for everybody. I'll even say that Freakonomics has to be one of the best books I have ever read), most women are golddiggers. When looking for a spouse, women go for the wallet, men go for the looks. So if you threaten a lawsuit, she's gonna get insecure and she'll end up giving you a nice bj. There you go.