gautam jee, No sale is final, kya ! It seems revisions are must to improve the style, flow and ideas. May be you should see your creations after a week or month and try to rewrite. Most of the time, the previously written stuff become rediculous to one self. Revising and editing help to maintain, however, not immediately. Here is my revision, but have to admit that I could not progress despite spending hours in it. आफ्नै मनको तरले उज्यालो छेक्यो कि कसो दिनभर ? नत्र दिउसै दियो जलाउन दिनहुं किन जान्छौ मन्दिर ? (तर = scab, not but kya) किन, पसिनाको कमी भयो या मूल्य भेटिनौ कही ? सुरबीर मान्दैमा रगत बगाई हाल्नु किन आखिर ? एकादेशको स्वप्न महल, यथार्थको हाम्रो कुटिर आफ्नो बाटो बनाउन अरु आउनै पर्ने हाम्रो नजीर ! खुशीका रङ्ग निक्ले, देख्दा पहिरोले बनाएको भीर ! अब गुरांस हुने भईन् रे, अप्ठ्यारोमा फूल्न माहिर !