i ddin't wanna get into that detaill..but i belive me there's soemthing caledl after life and even with diseases and killings its still just an illusion ..we are not sure we are living or dead...yet we are not dead until we belive we are..we are not sick until we think we are..we are not poor until we think we are.. we are not rich until we think we are.. Its little too personal to get into details..but belive me i have been there..the worst form of suffereings ..and then one day i realised why shouild i suffer? why should i be the one to look into the mirror and cry?? will it matter if anybody finds out?? will it be better if someone takes revenge? will it change the past if i feel sorry?? is anybody going to be sorry if i am sad?? If i get hurt should wait to be helped?? The answer my friend is no. People die when they do. People get killed. People have disease. From the very start it is a lie to think that we will live forever. It is a greater lie to think that we shall never die. When it happens it happens.. The people after death will be happier if you remain happy. It's not that they have vanished...they are there around us with us always.. that should make you think again why should you suffer?? I have seen death several times, my best friends have died and i have commited hideous crimes, been in and out of trauma..But i don't think you can find a happier being in this world other than myself. Do detacch yourself from the emotions from material life and from physical pain is what i ask you to do...there's a reason why things happen the way they do...its upto you to make yourself stronger or weaker. JUST let your heart glide through your journey of imagination....