Its so touchy j. in fact, i also look ahead at times and quite often it turns out that i see just nothing ahead of me. I think for a while, go like 'yeso garesi teso hunchha' but again these strings of 'yeso' and 'teso' are sometimes so much entangled that i simply give up. Then, i turn behind. yeh, in the way i came up to this point too, i see just no one. it has always been me, myself, and my own decisions. they say like its your mom and its your dad and its your that and so on, however, i am at a point where none of them have come-(and its true for everyone else) so they would have come to this point themselves rather than pushing me- right. so nobody makes you a great man or the opposite. its always you where you lead yourself to. But then the question pops up - ornaments are made of gold and silver while utensils are made of iron. So who am i? iron? steel? aluminium? etc. I know i will never find an answer to this, but still i keep on rolling this thing. Then i find someone like an 'ornament' or the one who is having a life and he is completely unaware of how or what he is. He just becomes himself quite unknowlingly. And then there begins the show- why the hell did i do that? look at that friend of mine-, look at that laddhu-, look at that fellow-, why am i making myself suffer like this-, and so on. so finally, i have decided to end up this book-to-transcript cycle of input and output with a single 'jack of none but a master of science'. phd- hell no. what really screws my thinking is why are you going after 3 'master of science's? and of how many have you made a 'jack' of yourself? just curious hai, thats why ni. keep rolling...