Jokes From All ...

Popcorns with jalapenos...Yummy! ~nepaligurl~

jalapenos are HOT stuffs........ KHURSANI

Popcorns with extra Jalapenos and butter on it! hmm hmmm hmmm... ~nepaligurl~

"What gender is 'computer'?" - For AnswerClick HERE :)

TOO MANY IDIOTS ON THE HIGHWAY Have you ever noticed there are more idiots on the highway than anywhere else? I don't mean this in a bad way. I've just heard many motorists refer to other drivers as "idiots." "Look at that idiot," they say. "His turn signal has been on for 20 minutes." Someone who runs a red light is almost certainly an idiot. Perhaps even a stupid idiot (as opposed to a smart idiot). Someone who drives faster than about 85 miles per hour is also an idiot. So is somone who drives under the speed limit. Somehow, no matter how hard you look on the highway, you'll never find a genius. With so many idiots out there, you'd expect to find at least one genius. But I have yet to see a cop pulling over a perfect driver to shake her hand. I have yet to hear a motorist say, "Did you see that guy? He just made a perfect turn. He's a genius." Even if a woman drives her entire life without a single traffic violation, no one will bring it up at her funeral. No one will say, "Helga was such a good driver. The highway will never be the same." Unfortunately, the highway has only two types of drivers: normal drivers and idiots. Once you're an idiot, it's tough to become a normal driver. Especially if your insurance company has moved you to the idiot class. You make one mistake, cause one accident, and suddenly you're paying much more for car insurance than rent. To save you some trouble, the insurance company asks you to mail your paycheck directly to them. "We can spend it more wisely," they say. "You're an idiot." Realizing you can't afford to have another accident, you decide to be extra-cautious on the road. You hesitate when merging with traffic. You resist passing an Amish buggy. You even stop at a yellow light. Guess what? You're an idiot again. The driver behind you is certain of this. He honks and yells, "Go, you idiot. What are you stopping for?" Before long, you forget all about your accident -- you're only human -- and you turn into Mario Andretti again. You drive so fast, you even manage to pass a tractor-trailer. But your luck runs out again and a cop pulls you over. He listens to your excuse: "I'm sorry, officer. I'm an idiot." The cop has no sympathy. He has already ticketed 89 other idiots. Some thought the speed limit was only for people with cheap cars. Others were trying to save gas. A few were certifiable idiots: They were in a hurry to get to their in-laws. Your insurance company gets word of your ticket and cancels your policy. They'd rather insure Mike Tyson. Now you're stuck being an idiot. Everyone sees you thumbing a ride. And drivers like me just smile. I know what it's like to be an idiot. I once ran a red light by accident. My Mazda was struck by a mini-van and spun into another car. A cop arrived at the scene in an instant, popping out of the car I had just dented. This accident almost put me in the Idiot Hall of Shame. But the selection committee decided to save room for Halle Berry. Considering how many idiots are on the highway, it's a wonder normal people drive with them. It's almost like handing out guns at the post office. It would make more sense to erect new signs on the highway: "Left lane reserved for idiots." The left lane would be packed, leaving the right lane safe for your great-grandmother. Of course, some people shouldn't be allowed to drive -- the ones who drink and drive. These people are guilty of driving while D.U.I. (Definitely Ultimate Idiots). They get an automatic entry into the Hall of Shame. For at least five years, these people should be forced to hitchhike and drink nothing but prune juice. Some might consider this cruel and unusual punishment. As for me, I'd rather keep the roads safe. Besides, the prune industry could use a boost.

reason for the 4 hour/day load-shedding in Pune! :)

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell? Ans : the days after marriage +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ? He is given his last chance to run away. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ LOVE is like a CIGAR It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes... But dont worry - we are chain smokers +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ when i call u; 1 ring means i'm thinking of u; 2 ring means i like u; 3 means i miss u; 4 means .........pick d phone idiot +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ... Student : WOW ! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The human brain is most outstanding thing....... it functions 24hrs 365 days..... it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Oho punditji timi yaha pani...your jokes are funny!! keep rolling

One classic piece, When do sardarjees put lipsticks, mascaras, rose and stuffs like that in all over his head??? ********************************************************************** when they are trying to make up their minds.........

Banta was bragging to his boss one day," You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom +and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Banta's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Banta says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Banta says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." At the White House, Bush spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first." Well, the boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I have known the Pope a long time." So they fly to Rome. Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I cannot catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Banta asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says," I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who is that on the balcony with Banta?"