Posted by: Hushpuppy August 12, 2005
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My friend's friend is also looking for a dude ..Ok's here's the list she passed me:
Details:(exactly must match)
1. height : 5' 11''
2. Skin : Chocolate brown
3. Eyes: Sleepy like Jhaling cha
4. Hands: Very sturdy
5.Toenails: Clean
6.Liver: Intact
7.Teeth : Very very white
8.Tongue: very very clean
9.Lungs: Pink (no brown spots there only grass green allowed)
8.Waist : 31 inch..
9.Chest : no hair
10. Ears : hooked to MP3
11.Bums: Nice and round in FCUK jeans
12.Arms: Never held anything besides the steering wheels
13.Back bone: straight and flexible and strong enuf to lift 135 lbs easily
14.Brains: Computer hacker
15.Heart: Not filledwith gold
16 head: Rested on the book "THE IDIOT" by LEO Tolstoy and spinning around the paintings of Dali
17.voice: that of lenny cravitz
18.Hair: nice and soft
19.smell: the axe effect
20.manners: very very elegant
21.behavior: genteel
22.temperament:cool
23.attitude: always patient
24.humor:24/7
25.Energy: everreaddy battery
26.Culinary skills: a must
27.Degree holder: N/A
28.Hardwoker: Very very much
29.Homemaker: Specializes in interior decorum..knows the different between aqua green and olive
30.Bartending: Only in the presmises
31.Belly dancing: only in dreams
32.Inter'l passport: Must have to tour/joyrides
33. knows how to: babysit and dogsit too
34. Shopping buddy: also into VS..
35.Poltics: never
36.TRUST: 200%
Thats it i guess..i think i missed her major major points...
Rules:
1.Only those who fit 100% to all the above may apply
2.Momsitters, exgf siiters, cute bf sitters, forget it
3.homeless, jobless, heartless, lifeless, might be considered as well but no results guraunteeed.
4. Applicants need to undestand there is a trial period of at least seven years...only then the contract may extend or expire..
5.all applicants wiill be judged by the panel of goood jugdes from the court of luck and heaven
6. This test is the first test ever to be conducted on animals
7. All test conducted at your ow risk.
8.Nothing back guruanteed
9.Skills of karate, tae kwondo, salsa dancing, and xbox playing might be some help
10.Must have at least a year of experience in Sahara desert, brazilian Jungles, mt everest and/or the Arctic Ocean..you never know where you shall land
11.Kids under 25 are prohibited
12.Skyjumping, rafting, cliffhanging could give you bonus survival points
13. must be friendly with crocodiles, leapards and pythons..my friend keeps changing her looks!!
14.This invite is for serious contenders only
15.Don't try this at home