A sincere remark: Your poetry writing is in its infancy. Read more, write less. You can visit www.nepalikavita.com or one of these sites and see the language uses in Nepali. You can do a good thing for your self - read the history of Nepali poetry writing and how it matured from Bhanubhakta to Moti Ram Bhatta to Gopal Prashad Rimal to Mohan Koirala.