nice one Hush..its the time i guess..the beautifully quiet and lonely night...and these musings to keep me warm.. sometimes I wish I hadn't been there. Eaten that forbidden fruit called love. As things fall apart, like the light bulb going numb, I had started to love darkness. "You're smart" started to sound like 'you're too good for me'. "Thank you" I'd say and smile in courtesy. The slouching old couch awaits my body, and carpet-less cement floor emanates the coldness I so behold in my own life. Bizarre was my best word then. From the sour taste of lemonade to my uncombed hair spread wild, I looked into my friend's eyes and said- 'bizarre'. That's how I describe my life. With pride. I said it with pride, as if this bizarreness bore the exquisiteness of republican aristocracy; those women in blue velvets and shining diamond necklaces, and their ostentations. I just had this bizarre thought running in my mind. What if every semester I had different challenges to tease? Different tastes? I won't be surprised if Roshan leaves. One day if he comes up to me and says he never loved me, I will probably nod my head and say 'I understand'. I will respond with utter optimism; 'I'll quit loving you?I'll try'. 'You see, love cannot be controlled?' he'll come up with his philosophic justification, while my feelings will seek refuge in a dark ally within the streets of Manhattan. I start murmuring the lines of the song that I've grown to love as I move from one train to another- Asarai Mahinama, pani paryo rujhaune?