Papa had sent me a birthday with a lotus on it saying babe, this flower reminds me of you......and i was 'Managing" his life at age 5 while he consumed the all the education ....mom tugged the last braid of my french knott while i was 12..said i want you to be the princess ..m sis's and bro..all pinched my rosey cheeks to keep me away from the wilderness..............but there lay a black hole....in my pretty heart...a hollowone....... The Television dictated the rights and wrong..cause i had championed the art of falsfying the society on my grounds...each day i lived a character..snowwhite, rapunzel, catwoman, supergal, and it was just the starting.... A year or two I imitated mother Teresa, got bored then turned into Sharon Stone next day..two steps away from Winona Ryder from the Girl Interrupted. Then for the sake of my darling frens, I had to live like Tombraider, I almost became the Cleopatra of my country..But in reality managed to play in a DR. Foustous drama like cleo... Between Elizabeth Taylor and Cleopatra, Princess Di seemed appealing.. What's wrong with li'l loving here and there and then some more heartbreaking, afterall i cud get away since i was the master heartbreaker...it was so good to be in control of so many lives at one point when i cudn't dare make a frigggin decision on my behalf... Then you get to play allnthe bad roles..the vixen..the murderer..the villian...there ain't much choice on pretention..i hate to pretend though..i wish i cud smoke my life away...and just when i found it.... ............I can't use it anymore,,,,it's getting...dark too dark to see..knock knock knocking on heaven's door.....mama..ican't shoot them anymore..the long black cloud is coming down...knock knock kncoking on heaven's door....oooh ohh.. BOB Dylan in the backdrop,I know this letter shall never reach my love that i never had...cause he's to making up for things that i had and left behind...i just wanted to grow up to be righteous...stand up in the snow if i have to..be forever young.... And everything pulls me behind.....now i'm playing cinderella....when will this life be over ...........why..did i fall?????????????????????????????????????????????