Specks of dotted blood in her pink and blue kurta...akansha realized...that she had to put up two essays for her history class and another assignment for her literature..whether or not she had had enough sleep wasn't what she thinking about..5 minutes of shower..she trashed her clothes in the bin..put on her pleated school skirt ...gulped down the cornflakes and was on the bus by 9...where she scribbled some notes for the literature and jotted some points for history... Well last nite had been her historic expedition..she knew mom and her younger sis would be at mama ghar for "dar" for teez fasting ...so she made up her story of being sick, stole her dad's keys and her mom's license..for a picnic at Nagarjuna..it was surreal..rest of her 9th grade frens had couple of beers, food, mats and stolen cigarettes wrapped up..... Rakshya, Puja and Swati..had no idea that akansha would be calling her bf, Tenzin and his frens to join them and they had bunked half day at school for this rendezvous.. no time on top of a hill, they playing poker, dancing, eating and then Tenzin decided to stop and buy cchhhyang from the nearest restaurant...more than the chhyang they got some green stuff that they first got to smoke...smoke pot..that is..by 9.30 it was scary dark...the guys and Akansha had to drop each girl home safely..finally she had to drop Puja at Swayambhu...her last stop...and when she did that...she was so high..and the rain made it worse to see anything... The dirty buses splashed more waters onto her tiny Subaru her dad had bought for her but had only promised to let her ride it after she passed the final exams, her only motivation to go to school.. As she was turning from the small hill around the temple..she heard a big bang as if her rear tires were burst..she got out and there lay a bloodied body...a body of a baby monk...at first she thought it was a monkey...but then as she lay her hands to reach under the left rear tire..a hand groped hers...Akansha was so petrified...1 million things raced in her already hallucinating mind..how cud she a 15 yr old cud have managed to do so many sins, beginning with a lit cigarette , now to hitting a sage boy---a li'l Buddha... As she picked up the struggling body in her fragile frame, she saw 5-6 monks running towards her..she had to time to think..she put the body in her passengers seat, turned the ignition and raced out of Swayambhunath.."god please don;'t kill the baby was the only thing she was thinking about".. and then one thing led to another..she saw a clinic sign in about 4 yards from where she was, dropped the about 2yr old kid on the doorstep, rand the bell and fled.................. Inspector Bhariabh was already been notified of the hit and run case..albiet he thought it would be a drugged juvenile not a fine looking young lady like Akansha..When he lit his torch in her red cover-seats of her car, the blood stains were barely visible... as she stood there for her morning prayers and assembly....she prayed and hoped that last nite was only a nightmare...but as she looked down at her pretty fingers,, there were stains..bloody stains of the godly child... Overburdened she dragged herself into her English classroom, She was playing Portia for the Shakespearean Play..and then she acted really well with tears trickling down her cheeks..the teacher forgave her for her scribbling notes that she written... and by the next class, she knew her life had changed from Last nite..If only she could rewind the whole episode..if only she could bring herself to see the baby..Her mind was racing 300 mph...and then the history teacher, Rex stood right in front of her...took away her notes..but instead of giving lecture..he started distributing the Kathmandu Post..to each student...to read out loud...the front page... And there it was...a man/woman...was seen picking up the monk boy..at Swayambhu..in maybe a Santro or Maruti...the boy was later found in a clinic nearby...still alive but with fractured limbs..the right leg of an already blind boy.....The doctors had hurriedly taken him to ICU at Teaching performed not only the operation of his leg but his eyes as well...which were all successful...the blind boy can see..but limp now..and the headline read as "WAS THE DRIVER the SAVIOR or the SINNER ?"" The teacher demanded the front seated Akansha to establish an argument...and she was thinking she was the VICTIM of an subconscious mind..........should she admit it was her or hide herself from rest of the world?????