A Sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "It is good that cows don't fly." ********************** A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says: " Hello, how did you know I was here?" ********************** How many Sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note. ********************** Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to. ********************** Did you hear about the Sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his checkbook? ********************** Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all of their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom. ********************** Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?". "Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can says 'put on two coats'." ********************** A Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day, He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can." ********************** Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge? They're there for those who don't drink. ********************** Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids? So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home. ********************** A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door. After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid." Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window." ********************** Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"? He didn't know which "one" came first... ********************** Did you hear about the Sardar skydiver? He missed the Earth! ********************** Santa and Banta r two friends and Santa Singh has very good job. Banta singh is jobless. One day asks Santa for some good Job. Santa Singh says, OK. Next time we will apply together and they do. On interview day, Santa Singh says, first i will go inside and answer all questions except last one, and after coming out, I would give u the all answers and questions. So u go and then answer there. U will get the Job. So, Santa goes in. EMPLOYER : When we got independence? SANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER : Good. Who is our PM? SANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER : OK. What's India's population? SANTA (He was not to reply last one so he says): Good Question, Research is going on, and when i know, i will tell u Sir. Now he comes out and tell questions and answers to Banta Singh. Banta singh was real SARDAR and he remembers all answers and forgets all the questions. He goes in Now. EMPLOYER : When were u born? BANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947. EMPLOYER : What???? Who is your father? BANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari Vajpayee. EMPLOYER : Employer is upset now. Are u Mad Mr. Banta? BANTA : Good Question, Research is going on, and when i know, i will tell u Sir. ********************** A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Sardar walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Sardar too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" ********************** The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." ********************** One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking. One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don't you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?" His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can't do that Because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down." ********************** The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink. ********************** Ek baar ki baat hai...... sardar banta singh ko ek ladka hua....... but 4-5 salon ke baad wo apne baap se ajeeb-o-garib question puchhne laga...... viz, suraj east se hi kyon ugta hai??? prithvi suraj ke chakkar kyon lagata hai???..... ye sab sawal sun kar banta singh bahut pareshan ho gaye....... unhone apne bete ko doctor ke paas le gaye...... doctor chhote sardar ko examine karne ke baad bola,sardarji generally sardar o ke paas to aadha dimaag hota hai but aapke ladke ke paas pura dimaag ho gaya hai...... sunte hi sardarji bole ki iska bhi aadha dimaag kat do...... doctor bola tab to operation karna hoga...... sardarji bole thik hai kar do........ operation theatre ke bahar sardarji ghum rahe the, pareshan hokar aur andarme operation chal raha tha...... operation ke baad doctor bahar nikla to sardarji ne operation ke bare me puchha....... doctor ne bola,sardarji bahut badi gadbadi ho gayihai....... sardarji ne puchha kya hua???....... doctor bola:uska galati se maine pura dimaag nikal diya...... sunte hi sardar ji ander bhage o.t. room me....... sardar ji apne bete ko dekhkar bole: kaise ho mere puttar...... aawaz sunkar uske bete ne aankh khola aur unhe dekhkar bola: AAMAR BADI KOTHAY AACHHE??? [With all respect to my Bengali freinds..........] ********************** A Sardarji was in a night-club in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back, "I love you too!" There was a little pause. (The Sardarji was thinking!) Then he whispered, "I love you three." ********************** There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it. **************************************************************************************** Surds again....!!! How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!! One day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months. BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN AT M MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks(*)! BEPPO SINGH'S MOTHER DIED. Beppo Singh: (crying) the doctor called, my mother is dead. Friend: condolence, my friend. After 2 minutes Beppo Singh cries even louder Friend: what now? Beppo Singh: my sister just called, her mother died too! BEPPO SINGH NEEDS VITAMINS FOR GRANDSON. Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C? Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!! Jasmeet Kaur watched her husband Santa Singh searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him: "What are you so frantically searching?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying ...'You are watching the Star World channel'? "How can he know what I am watching?" Sardar's son : Mom, kal raat ko vapas vaisa hi hua bathroom jane ke liye darwaza khola aur apne aap light on ho gayi. Mom: tenu kitni baar bola ki fridge ganda mat kiya kar. Teacher : What is the chemical formula 4 water? Sardar: HIJKLMNO. Teacher: wht r u talking abt? Sardar: Yesterday u said H to O. What is the full form of singh : s-sardar i-insaan n-nahi g-gadha h-hai. Angry sardar-Oye mein is duniya ko mita dunga mita dunga mita dunga. Another sardar standing besides said mein tujhe rubber hi nahi dunga. Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more than 1000 letters in it? Banta singh: Post office. Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta oha kya?" Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....." Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya rahe honge.... think............. "SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI" Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt. Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?" "Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?" A sardar goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands, but start washing the basin Manager : What r u doing? Sardar: U have written here "WASH BASIN."