Hey Indi bro, No har dfeelings yaar....I think it is thikai as it is..hoina?? aany ways Ard bro and Sristi...keep u ...heheheheh..here is another two parts...jammai post garna laageko space chhaina re...(6500 word limit re) ************************************ That confusion lasted for more than two months or so, it kept me disturbed most of the time, and more I tried to forget it, it would thump my minds even more. In between those times, maybe she was also embarrassed too much; I didn?t see her most of time and whenever I would see her, she would just run away. I missed her company though, I missed staring at those stars together, I missed seeing her smiles, I missed her company and I was foolish enough not even to speak with her even when I knew she loved me. Soon enough, the first terminals were there to hit us, and this time I had zeal to prove something. But the course of the class nine was to be covered also and it was hard enough for me to cover all those subject of nine (remember, class nine was just fun for me? ;-). But I tried my best and result showed it. I had not reached the height my mom had expected for, but I scored one of the highest marks in the mathematics, other subject hold dashing marks too. Seeing the mark sheet that time, my mom had spark of belief in her eyes. She was not satisfied of the results though, but she believed I could do better than that and I was happy to get that belief from my mom. In between the tough time I had during the exams, I almost forgot the emotional turmoil I was going through before. But as soon as I saw her after those exams, the turmoil gasped my mind once again and it was too hard for me to conclude my self. At times I would feel like, ?God!!! I am in love? while at others I would be like ?Am I in love???? I was confused and wasn?t that determined enough to find out the solution to my confusion. I even once bought a card to give it to her, but couldn?t find enough courage to give it to her, courage couldn?t be paid for. The card remained, inside one of my comics, just to gather dust. As they say, ?With time, it heals everything?, the confusion didn?t remain in my mind forever (It hit harder than before later on though). I tried to get suggestion from Pee. ?Oyee, malai tension paryo yaar. (hey, I m in tension?)? ?K bho?? (What happened??)? ?I am dead confused. Am I in love or not malai thaha chhaina yaar. Tension huna thalyo, yaar? I tried to explain. ?M*$i, maan dherai dulayera faaida chhaina, man parchha bhane khurukka gayera bhande, man pardaina bhane chupa laagera birside, bekaar ma tension liyera pheri mom ko kutai khaalas?? he said sarcastically, if I was going ruin my study with all this. Determined after hearing his words to forget everything about love and confusion, I came back home that day. ************************************ For a month or two, I avoided her most of time, and maybe of all those embarrassments, she also had avoided me so far. I was concentrating on my studies now. The times would pass, listening to FM stations, recording the songs I like, practicing math (Geez!!! I loved math so much), and I avoided that roof top for more than month. I was scared to see her again, and I was not sure about myself too. I would rather confine myself in my room, or spend holidays at Pee?s place. That night, I had returned home late at evening, spending the whole day at Pee?s place. When I reached home, mom was busy making dinner. ?K k gaaris ta Pee ko ma??? She inquired. ?Yeso combine study aani ekchhin ghumna gaayen.? I replied, although it was less combine study and more roaming around, ?Ye bhusukkai birseko, maathi baata kapada sukayeko uuthayera le ta, jhandai birseko.? There was nobody else around to do the job, and I had to go anyway. While I was collecting the clothes there, I saw her at the next end of the roof. She was busy with some writings. I totally ignored her and went downstairs collecting the clothes. Curiosity grasped my minds as I tried to concentrate on my study late that night. With all my efforts to study going in vain, I just went upstairs to see if she was still there, but couldn?t find her. Else I found a dairy of hers, pages turned open with the mild breezes. I just went there, and took that diary onto my hands. The letters written on that page simply caught my eyes, and I gazed over them for a long time. Although I don?t remember the exact words but it was written in Nepali somewhat like: ?Maybe I care more than I need to, maybe I want to get loved, maybe he doesn?t love me though but right now I just wish the things are just like before?just a wish?? I couldn?t think of what to do. I just left that diary just there as it was, left there and went downstairs. That night, mesmerized in my thoughts, I couldn?t sleep till mid night. I didn?t know what to do, but I wasn?t ready enough to fall in love (Maybe she was always there, and for me she was taken as granted), and scared enough to miss her. I tried to analyze the words written, but couldn?t find any conclusion from the words, and at last conclude myself to keep the things as it was, take everything easily and carry on with the life as it was before. Next evening, I just went to the rooftop, and she was right there as always. I just went and sit silently next to her. All the embarrassments were gone now, and she smiled at me. I smiled back. I saw a kind of satisfaction, a kind of mesmerism in that smile. I thought she must have taken that easily too, and there we were together once again to let the things as it were before, to let the time flow, as we gazed through thousands of stars. ************************************