Time for fun yet again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 m.p.h. in a 60 m.p.h. zone, sir?" asks the policeman. "That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver. The driver's wife butts in and says, "Yes, you do, I'm always telling you to keep your speed down." The policeman says, "I also noticed, sir, that you didn't have your seat belt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car." That is not true, sir; I always wear my seat belt," replies the driver. "No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seat belt on," says the driver's wife. "Damn it, woman," the driver explodes, "can't you, just for once, keep that big, fat trap of yours shut?" The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?" "Oh, no, officer," she says, "only when he's drunk." What's the difference between Secretary and Personal Secretary?? Secretary says "Good Morning Sir" and Personal Secretary says "Morning ho gayee hai Sir" A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar. A patron walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?" The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, pal." And so, the patron retrieves his Webster's dictionary from his coat pocket and looks up the word 'panda.' "What's it say?" asks the bartender. The patron replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."