Seeing the words written down by you, I couldn't stop myself from jotting down something. It is not hard to see what u feel if the written thing is real not a fiction. Kind of I felt myself in resemblance with your story. And reading, I felt I may have something in common with you that I would like to share. From the childhood, my dad had been a political person. Before 047 I didn?t see much of him. That time he used to be much of underground or so, and most of time my sister would only be there to take care of as my mom would be not much around as she would have to do earning for us. I always yearned to get the care and togetherness all other children got. Although I always hated my dad for not being there when I needed, I won?t say that my dad didn?t care for me. He cared, he does still, but there were lots of thing to do for him. His bedtime stories, his philosophies, his writings, I adored and has left a deep incision in the way I live my life. The less time he had for family left me with a kind of fear to take the politics as my "part" of life. I always ran away from that word "Politics" After 047, He got sick of the hassles and tussles that were going inside the political arena. He left the politic arena and joined the area of Journalism where he expressed his views boldly and with dignity. After 047 did I get to know him better, and his philosophy of life, but that never attracted me, as it was the hard path, living for others than for own self. I took my life into another dimension; I would live for the ones I know but not for others whom I don?t. But he lived to tell other people the ways that can help this country and overall the society. He didn?t fear anything. He has clear way of expressing his views and is known person these days. He was even kept in army custody without given any notice (in other words kidnapped!!!). He was kidnapped from airport when he was trying to board a flight for Delhi. We the family, didn?t even know his whereabouts for that period, even we were not sure he was alive or dead and in some way I think I know the pain of missing someone you love. My mom was strongest at the time, being a role model for me when I should have taken care of her. That was sheer nightmare for me which I still dread of. Due to the national and international pressure then, the government has to kneel down and free him. I knew then how much I loved my father and how much I fear to loose him. I was kind of just opposite to him, I wished to have a poster of Aish in my room, I wished to have my hair grown long, and I loved to listen to music he won?t like. But after that I tried my best to make him happy, in the best way I can even I have to sacrifice the things I would love. He was still not fearful of expressing his views after that, but was kind of careful to choose the right words to express them as, now was era of army ruling and anything can happen. And after this Magh 19 incident, there were security personal crawling over at our place to arrest him. He had gone once again, underground. I don?t have chance to meet him now, but I sure do support him in every way I can. He is not a Maoist Sympathizer, as he criticizes vastly of their slaughtering, he is not Rajabadi, as he thinks this is autocracy and it should not be allowed in this era of democracy, he is not political party supporter, but he sure thinks they have major role in changing the way of society and overall he thinks that the solution of the conflict is not by increasing the killings, but rather with the talks, talks and interactions. But things he says about the restructuring of the whole country structure as there lies the whole solution in not only solving this conflict but also the conflict arising in future, has in some way irritated the so called government, and is in with claws to pounce him. I now have found out that the politics is everywhere; there is no way u can run away from it, you just can ignore it till it makes your life hell. I owe him a sorry for not following his hard path of thinking for society, but that I can?t and I don?t regret the way he lives his life. He is the idol for me, whom I can only dream of, but can?t be one. He is in my true sense a father who cares for me; because he cares for the society I live in. He is the man who lives by his virtues and don?t regret a bit about it (who else can sleep soundly as soon as he lay down in bed). He is for me a an IDEAL MAN, and Dad, I salute the works you are doing, I am proud to call you my father, because you are the one to teach me "Live life for others, as any animal will live it for himself." I am here for you whenever you need me father, because at least then I can also contribute something to society I live in, may that be indirectly. Nirman..{*_*}..