Performance Appraisals Revisited GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too bright EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yet WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a date ACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lot FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does QUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excuses CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voice EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokes CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else