Posted by: mailaadai March 3, 2005
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Performance Appraisals Revisited
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ...............= Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ...= Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY .........= Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY ................= Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING .................= Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES .......= Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ...........= Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber
LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else