the start is captivating. it draws the reader in; i am looking forward to the next installment. what i like so far: 1) your choice of anecdotes makes it believable and real (dont know if this is a work of fiction). at a more subtle level, i think your anecdotes also made me remember my own days as an adolescent, so you are able to make the reader identify with you, which is always good. 2) details. you have paid some attention to detail. however, you can improve it by including some more. i also like your choice of dialogues.