Donald John Trump (born June 14, 1946) is a self-made all-American businessman, television personality, political pundit, possessor of one of the worst/greatest combovers in history, and the 45th President of the United States from 2017 to 2021. He is chairman of The Trump Organization, the principal holding company for the Trump Tower, Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Taco Bowls, Trump Nation, and various other Trump-tastic business ventures.

In 2011, Trump caused a media buzz when he predicted that America would face a new revolution if it re-elected Barack Hussein Obama. Bankers and casino owners would rise up, he claimed, and overwhelm the masses. Trump ran in the 2016 presidential election as a Republican candidate, campaigning on the slogan to "Make America Great Again™", implemented on the platform of making Mexico ungreat by having them pay for a brand-new border wall. Against all odds and the concentrated fire of the media, he actually managed to win the presidency, and for three years all went well enough for him. However, the Chinavirus pandemic and ensuing recession threw a curveball into The Donald's presidency, previously-tremendous economy, and even himself, making the 2020 election even more contentious than 2016. Unexpectedly, he lost the 2020 election to Sleepy Joe Biden, though he unsuccessfully attempted to legally challenge its results.

In his spare time, when he's not bossing Pence around, calling him a pussy, and having rioters grab Pence by the Pence, Trump writes storybooks for the children of capitalists. His most notable work is Seal the Deal, about a marine mammal that invests in expensive marinas and opens undersea golf courses in Scotland.