I moved out of California after living there for about 6 years in early 2000, in similar situations like yours. I have mixed felling about it 10 years later. It’s definitely struggle with average income out there . 200k will probably be like 150k equivalent of some other moderate state, in terms of disposable income due to tax and high price goods service. Housing is expensive, so you will be left with very less wiggle room for other expenses. But at the same time , you will most likely accumulate equity in house .

For young adult child care expense is another factor, for me it was like second mortgage back then. At one point I was paying more for day care then my mortgage. I was tired of leaving pay check to pay check even after making decent salary.

But there is no doubt that climate and opportunity plus opportunity to accumulate equity is huge in cali. Your kids will most likely do very good due to network and opportunity that exist in cali. Your kids most likely will have better odds for success .

So in summary, below is my personal thoughts.
1) Dont do it, if it pushes your wife on the edge to make more money and she will end up hating it. It’s not worth it. If your wife is also high achiever personality and willing to put all in, in year or two she will easily make close to what you make, then it’s probably ok.
2) if your priority is day to day life. Have decent saving as safetynet and be able to spend at this phase of life, then probably not north move.
3) if priority is long term carer growth, accumulating equity in home value, build network for business or career , set foundation for kids success while struggling little for time being, it might worth it.