Posted by: logan July 14, 2019
CARFAX please
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2012 Chevy Sonic for Sale

So you need a car. Maybe you're a hipster. Maybe you hate your life. Or maybe you hate cars. Well here’s the perfect answer for you. The anti-car car. The 2012 Chevy Sonic.

Features include:
Folding back seats- perfect for late night adventures involving crying yourself to sleep after a shitty day at your soul crushing job.
Manual windows- who needs the gym when you can build strength rolling down windows?
Airbags- good in case of a roll over from rallying the car at the McDonald’s drive thru.
Aux Jack- now you can listen to all your favorite tunes instead of your own thoughts and scaring people off public transportation.
A hatch door- even more real estate to brag to the world of your Mt. Washington treks, witty and sophisticated stick representations of your feral cat family, and the 5K you completed in 3 hours.
I’m even throwing in a second Chevy sticker on the hatch just in case you forgot which brand made this monstrosity.
Cupholders- I can now transport both my big gulp AND artisanal free range gluten free water? SIGN ME UP.

The AC doesn't work but then again Henry Ford didn’t have air conditioning, and he lived. Then he died. He also didn’t drive a Chevy. One of the AC lines has a leak. Or you could just live with it and think of it as a way to sweat some pounds off from drinking all of those big gulps during the summer.

The car currently brandishes dings, a crack in the rear bumper, and an indentation in the rear passenger door area which could be either from skydiving, playing in an OK GO music video, or the 167k miles it's traveled so far. Probably the latter.
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