Posted by: Abhilasha_pokhara February 10, 2019
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I went back after 10 years with my 2 an half year old. In my honest opinion, things were not the same as they used to be. Well, it wasn't at least for me. We had our wedding here, so it was the first time that I was living with my in-laws in their house. My in-laws didn't like the idea of me wanting to live with my parents for few days which was totally not fair as I had gone for my brother's wedding and wanted to help my mother with wedding preparations.
Speaking about social life, people are more isolated and I could not find the kind of intimacy and bonding between the families/relatives as it used to be before. You will never hear praises for the good things you have done in your life, (may be a few will let you know), rather you will be criticized a lot for leaving your country and parents. I was even asked by one of them why my daughter is dark skinned inspite of living in America (seriously?!). They were very judgemental and would not leave any chance to point something wrong. People are more into show offs. At my brother's wedding, I was highly criticized by my own family members for not wearing enough gold and was questioned if I and my husband weren't doing too well in the states. Nobody would believe me that I had one of the highest paying jobs in US just because I didn't have enough gold or diamonds.
Apart from that, everything is so expensive. People who have money spend it like anything; birthday parties in expensive hotels and what not...there is competition for who spends how much on weddings and bratabandhas. And good schools in Nepal are too expensive. My friend who sends his son to one of the top schools in Kathmandu told me that he spends about Rs. 60000 on his tuition and books.
I do miss my country and my parents a lot but three months of time was enough for me to decide where I would like to spend my life. Everyone's situation is different but I didn't feel nice living in an environment with so much social pressure and constraints. Being judged for your every actions and choices is not what I would want to deal with when there are so many things to focus on in life.
Speaking about social life, people are more isolated and I could not find the kind of intimacy and bonding between the families/relatives as it used to be before. You will never hear praises for the good things you have done in your life, (may be a few will let you know), rather you will be criticized a lot for leaving your country and parents. I was even asked by one of them why my daughter is dark skinned inspite of living in America (seriously?!). They were very judgemental and would not leave any chance to point something wrong. People are more into show offs. At my brother's wedding, I was highly criticized by my own family members for not wearing enough gold and was questioned if I and my husband weren't doing too well in the states. Nobody would believe me that I had one of the highest paying jobs in US just because I didn't have enough gold or diamonds.
Apart from that, everything is so expensive. People who have money spend it like anything; birthday parties in expensive hotels and what not...there is competition for who spends how much on weddings and bratabandhas. And good schools in Nepal are too expensive. My friend who sends his son to one of the top schools in Kathmandu told me that he spends about Rs. 60000 on his tuition and books.
I do miss my country and my parents a lot but three months of time was enough for me to decide where I would like to spend my life. Everyone's situation is different but I didn't feel nice living in an environment with so much social pressure and constraints. Being judged for your every actions and choices is not what I would want to deal with when there are so many things to focus on in life.