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 Indian Worker Attitude

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respect disrespect loser insecure indian
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Posted on 10-02-18 8:26 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I have been working in an international company here in the US since a year. I am a senior scientist and expert in the field and work in the similar capacity. I have this south Indian co-worker, who acts very rude to me. I am in general easy going, simple person that works hard and in volume. This guy is junior to me and has been working since past almost three years.

This guy talks well with others but ignores me and I have a feeling he does have some passive aggression towards me. He sucks up to the khaires and especially seniors. I have a khaireni colleague whom I know from my grad school (we were in the same research group). She is junior to me and works with the same designation as this Indian guy. He kisses her ass and acts as the nicest guy in the world but when it comes to me he acts like he is some kind of big-shot. He never admits he does not know something. He "knows" everything.

Every time I see him, it makes me feel cringy. I have a feeling he backstabs behind me and bitches about me with other junior staffs too. Because of his attitude, my work-life balance has been little affected. I feel like not wanting to go to work as it gives me too much negativity. My boss and other seniors like me. They have implemented changes I initiated. He is also liked. I have some feeling that he is insecure with me. I don't know, I might be wrong.

Do you guys have any Indian co-worker that acts that way? I've read a lot about such attitude (Kiss up, kick down) in Indian at workplaces. Please share yours and suggest me what I should do. I really am starting to hate this guy.
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Posted on 10-03-18 11:58 AM     [Snapshot: 688]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Had similar issue with Nepali. I don't think that dhoti is different just because of nationality.

TLDR, Every situation is different, but if possible, just ignore that guy and do not interact as far as possible. However, do note his weak points, issues potentially relevant for disciplinary action, poor communication, poor performance etc. You may need those details in a situation when HR needs to be called.

A childhood friend of mine moved to a city I was living in the past. I introduced her to a didi who happened to be working in a different department in the same office at same level my friend was hired. Due to similar duties, they were supposed to communicate regularly. However, the 'didi' started pinging my friend's manager asking the manager for certain reports which obviously my friend generates. The manager reminded 'didi' multiple times to send requests directly to my friend, but it has been over a year and they could not get along. My friend later said that although didi was friendly at first, didi rarely talks in Nepali even during lunch or free time. I felt sorry because I was not aware about 'didi's that avatar. Probably it is more a girl stuff, but my friend thinks it is because didi is from a very elite and rich family in Kathmandu, with over 10 yrs experience while I and my friend are from Chitwan and much younger.

I think it felt bad because didi was Nepali, and in your case that guy is a dhoti. If it was a random khaire, you would not care that much. Getting along with everyone at work is not only difficult but also a waste of time.
Posted on 10-03-18 12:01 PM     [Snapshot: 738]     Reply [Subscribe]
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ब्रो le ni हसौचा, धोति संग नि के को बाल, सीधै भन्दे भै हाल्यो नि ,
Posted on 10-03-18 12:29 PM     [Snapshot: 768]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences/ inputs. I really appreciate!

I should start doing tit-for-tat. I from today start to completely ignore him. I did quite a bit of introspection to assess if I had any problem. I did not see any apparent one. He uses two completely different tones to talk to juniors and seniors and resorts to mute mode with me :). We work on different projects but in the same department. Recently, my job responsibilities changed and I work more independently and mentor others. He also mentors others. Both of us are two of the best workers there. I do not have any issue with him and do not have any insecurity/ inferiority issue. I do not take Indians to be superior or inferior to a Nepali or any other race/ nationality for that matter. It is just a strange feeling seeing him behave that way. I had many good Indian friends in school and did not have any problem. May be he is little afraid of the fact that I am getting a little share of spotlight he once fully had. I mostly do not work to be in the spotlight. He is taking me for a competitor, which I am not.

Thanks to you folks one more time.
Last edited: 03-Oct-18 12:29 PM
Last edited: 03-Oct-18 12:31 PM

Posted on 10-03-18 8:14 PM     [Snapshot: 1030]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Based on my experience, Indians are naturally more competitive then most neplease. Luckily I haven’t have to work with other Nepali yet, but most time I find Indians more competitive then Nepalese. They intend to achieve what they want by hook or cook. Looks like he sees you as his direct competitor for any future potential growth.

There is no preskription here and reaching out to HR, unless he does something really wacky, would just look bad on you.

You have to treat him as competition, if you want neck to neck competition with him. If you want to let him move ahead and stay laid back then its fairly easy to slow down a bit , let him take a lead and follow him. I am sure he will start treating you well as soon as he realize you are not in same league as he.
Last edited: 03-Oct-18 08:16 PM

Posted on 10-04-18 12:48 AM     [Snapshot: 1186]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Be smart and make Nepalese proud. I kick their ass lots of time. I just ignored them. I mentored and helped Alots of Indian. They are smart but not really great. I got Nepalese are more smart if they got better opportunities. Nepalese don’t bow their head to anybody. I’m the boss against my boss. Be intelligent and don’t make you suppressed. Sale your intelligent. Don’t care anything.
Posted on 10-05-18 8:33 AM     [Snapshot: 1554]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हैन हो साथी ती निम्न चरित्रका मीत्र कुन मात्री भाषा बोल्दा रैछन?
Posted on 10-05-18 1:23 PM     [Snapshot: 1652]     Reply [Subscribe]
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You will be finding negativity every step of your career. If his negative character is influencing your work life balance then he is successful in doing that and he has successfully influenced you to become like him. Whenever I see such kind of behaviour and people I keep reminding myself that I surely don't want to be that person and treat him nicely and not as he treats me. If you keep treating him nicely, no matter how many times he shows rudeness he will be compelled to bow down ultimately. In summary, Don't let other to change your true character. Just be who you are and let fate decide because it never goes wrong.
Posted on 10-05-18 2:27 PM     [Snapshot: 1716]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Guys, if you ever want to piss off or aggravate an Indian, send him or her an anonymous text or email with the following:

"Indians smell like chicken achari roganjosh paan masala tandoori tikka pig rectum boti kabab makhni curry with a hint of goat fart and incense made of cow dung."

Trust me, this will really push their buttons. Lolzz
Last edited: 05-Oct-18 02:35 PM
Last edited: 05-Oct-18 02:36 PM

Posted on 10-05-18 5:35 PM     [Snapshot: 1813]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I had similar experience, one a$$hole was super friendly and kissing every khairey's a$$ but would act very different towards me as if he didn't wanted to talk. I ignored him few months after that one nepali guy joined my team. I never talked to him first after that, if I needed info then only I would talk to him. Also, work wise he would bot get me any documents, so I would request couple time by emailing him personally and wait few days in between. If he didn't answer then I would email again saying that because of your no response blah blah is gettting delayed and cc his manager. I was really happy when he left the company.
Posted on 10-05-18 5:59 PM     [Snapshot: 1832]     Reply [Subscribe]
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नेपाल भए नि अमेरिका भए नि इन्डियन को आड नलागी उपाय छैन है साथी हो साला धोति भन्यो गाली गर्यो. यति ठुलो दुनिया छ चित्त बुज्दैन भने आफुलाई फिट हुने टिम मा काम गरे भैगो नि कुरा ठुला खुट्टा लुला .... मेरो व्यक्तिगत विचार ...
Posted on 10-05-18 6:49 PM     [Snapshot: 1863]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I have a very very deep hatred for Indians. Just like they portray us as a Gate keeper in their movies, we also need to portray them as someone who smells like chicken masala roganjosh curry with a hint of goat fart in our movies and that smell won't go away despite showering for 100 times a day.
Posted on 10-09-18 11:38 AM     [Snapshot: 2457]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@stanley: I can see your curry smelling Indian twat ego is pretty hurt because I made you realize that you are an idiot. LOL!
Posted on 10-09-18 11:48 AM     [Snapshot: 2456]     Reply [Subscribe]
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What if Nepal is a state of India? Many Indians think Nepal is part of India. They have reasons to say that. We beg from them and at he same time we back bite them.
आफ्नो खुटा मा नि उभिन नसक्ने, अर्काको सहयोग पनि लिने अनि... उही हो नेपाली को बानी.
कसैले भन्थ्यो,
कृषि प्रधान देश मा मल छैन र बन्दैन - भारत बाटै ल्याउनु पर्छ
जलश्रोत को अपार भण्डार मा जल छैन, जल बिद्यूत छैन भारत बाटै ल्याउनु पर्छ
भात धरै खानु पर्ने देश मा चामल विदेश बाट ल्याउनु पर्छ.
कति छ कति एस्तो कुरा हरु त.....
Posted on 10-09-18 12:48 PM     [Snapshot: 2536]     Reply [Subscribe]
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yes we get help from India. No denying on that. So does India gets help from other countries. But that does not mean one has right to interfere in sovereign business. If you see recent incidents with border where Indians have taken over Nepal's land by force. We are not back biting we will tell in their face if required. We normally don't go looking for trouble when we have no reason for it. But they do because they think they are superior.

Again this is government issues and one or two bad potatoes superiority feelings. Cant say it to all. 
Last edited: 09-Oct-18 01:00 PM

Posted on 10-09-18 12:54 PM     [Snapshot: 2549]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@stanley & Hussain: India ko dalali garne napunsak haru. Thukka!
Posted on 10-09-18 5:36 PM     [Snapshot: 2716]     Reply [Subscribe]
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We buy stuff from India as America buys stuff from China. It's solely specilization based trade. Why do some Nepalis feel inferior to Indians just because they buy stuff from India. In 2015 india had to break tje illegal ban to Nepal because their products were rotting in borders. Americans neber feel tjey are inferiors to chinese just because they buy things from china. Learn good things fro. Your adopted country. Grow a pair and si.e self respect my gorkheys brothers
Last edited: 09-Oct-18 07:00 PM

Posted on 10-09-18 8:28 PM     [Snapshot: 2802]     Reply [Subscribe]
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ehho2: You are missing the point, kid. This is about respect. I am not sure if you have ever watched those curry smelling indian movies but FYI, in a lot of them, they portray Nepalese people as Bahadur GATEKEEPER! Now, don't tell me your punk ass is okay with that.
Posted on 10-09-18 10:07 PM     [Snapshot: 2843]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Vitch look again what I have written .punk ass I am against indian mistreatment, not for it. I was telling fellow Nepalis that we should not feel inferior because we get stuff from India cuz we pay for them and we don't receive them as charity. I was trying to build our self respect and I hate it when they think we are gatekeepers.
Posted on 10-09-18 10:14 PM     [Snapshot: 2835]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I agree with most if the points from @____ . That's quite a name, while I disagree with some of his/her points.
I think personality and attitude is a very personal trait, tesaile I try to see each person on a case basis. Mero ramro indian sathi ni cha ani attitude dekhaune nepali sanga pani vet vako cha. Yo nation based garib mentality haraunu paryo. We say Indian this and that, but Indian ma dherai ethnicity ani sub ethnicity cha. It really doesn't matter who is what color. Euta s-indian ramro sathi cha mero, because he understands and is logical, hard working . Tara euta nepali thiyo ko sanga ali thak thuk paryo - you know why, because tyo nepali was a bully. Jahile ni hochaune, j garda pani yo tyo vanne ani mache ko agadi badar banaune. It was just building in me, and I just had to stand up and I did it very strongly. He just fucking lost the day I picked up fight with him (not physical but verbal) and i found many people in my support, because that guy was an asshole.
So, take your time to analyze the situation, do not act erratically. If you work hard and are genuine and are surrounded by hard working and genuine people around you they will realize, your boss will realize.
If you need to stand up take some time; if talking with that person helps go for it l, but here is a suggestion - If that person got too much attitude and has a bullying me mentality talking won't help.

If you think there is something you can do something (communicating, passive or aggressive approach) to improve your situation, go for it; think throughly. If you think negativity is inevitable, just move on from that work place.
Sometime fighting helps sometimes it makes it worse, sometime avoidance and ignorance are better. Take your time before you take any action.

Doesn't matter what country, color, ethnicity you are, we all are humans. I have seen bootlickers, morons and smart people in every color, ethnicity, even in degree earning people.

If a person hasn't been through really difficult situation in life to learn a lesson, he/she isn't going to be humble. There is much more for that person to learn.
If a person has always seen and learned to cheat and thinks that's the way to success, that person isn't going to be humble.
If a person hasn't had enough love in life, he/she isn't going to be humble.
Learn a person, and you cannot see through somebody over a bottle of beer. Take a approach you think might help, else move on. If you cannot win the situation over it will affect you.

Let us know what you ended up doing. Just for a lesson.
Posted on 12-18-18 3:03 PM     [Snapshot: 9669]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Life and Business are like war. Work place is a battle field, fight it to your last breathe if you are right. There could be subconcious mental phobia at play. Fuck that subconcious mental phobia that could having implanted some way as you grew up that he is some indian and you should be different or special to the guy. Do what is right and rational my friend. Kick the stupidity out of the guy if you have to but respect the good ideas based on circumstance. Don't stay silent . Have the leadership and winners attitude. You cannot make everyone happy. All the best.


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