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 Etablishing a sustainable relation between parents and children
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Posted on 08-02-18 7:04 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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https://talktoavi.wordpress.com/2018/08/02/the-science-behind-understanding-parental-concern

Most of the youths nowadays suffer from this "parental-suggestion-phobia". We rarely want suggestions from elders and even if we want, we don't really agree to follow. This has not only been the problem of this generation, but every previous generation, yes our parents and their parents and so on. Understanding this phenomena, what actually is this tendency called? Of course, of the few readers here, almost everyone agrees it to be generation gap. But, of the many other things, we have understood with misunderstanding, what actually is this generation gap? Or have we been superficially tagging situation as generational gap without proper understanding?
Generational gap is more than what we think it is. For us, its over concernedness of parents and a way to make life boring. For our parents, it is a way to guide us to a way of life that can lead us to success because they believe our independence could lead to life mistakes. Unfortunately, we humans have a tendency to disapprove all the things that don't comply to our way of thinking. This tendency is not wrong to possess but concluding things out of this approach certainly is. As of me, independence and obedience both of these things have been understood in a hardcore manner but things work only when we know how to balance things properly.
All of us have seen how too much independence could lead to destructed life and too much parental-dependence could lead to an unhappy life with low confidence and poor decision taking abilities. But both are necessities for a successful living. So how do we properly deal with it? Its not only the problem on day-to-day life of the people but also something the country needs to follow for development. I absolutely support democracy but democracy doesn't mean making a total new thing and discarding the monarchal approach. If you don't agree let me know, but as of me, democracy is handing monarchy to people so that the country can 'also' focus on small things the king couldn't. But the bitter truth is that in a global platform, our country has lost its significance that our late king had established and development at local level is still far. So where did we go wrong? With independence, we forgot the importance of obedience and eventually over-exploited the independence and that can only be fixed with retaining what we have lost in these years: seriousness and carefulness.
For us, its not only with parental concerns but all of our elders' who want us to follow their suggestion. Some of us might obey everything our elders say which is also not a good idea because independence leads to taking better decision in future. Making our life dependent upon every decisions of others (including parents) could lead to low self confidence as mentioned earlier and a low capacity to take even simple decisions at times. Of course, our elders love us by heart and will never ever want to see us go through hard phases in life because at some point of time, they have gone through tough phases. But its impossible for a person to live a life without struggle. Struggle ends only with end of life and struggling is the only way we learn the most in life. We can be fed with knowledge and information but cannot be fed with intelligence. Intelligence in life comes by learning and analyzing things practically; failing in things that teach us life lessons and intelligence grows and we can act intelligently in life later in other similar or dissimilar situations. Intelligence is not situation bound. Our elders are aware of the fact that everyone has to struggle in life. But what is it that makes them act the way they do? It is the emotional part of the relationship which also includes overthinking.
Intelligent thinking exists between listening and taking action. This also relates how much self-control we have in ourselves. Suggestions and advises are resourceful and we should be thankful to people around us who are willing to provide us with some. Listening to other's experience and thinking doesn't necessarily mean we shall make decisions based on those. The idea lies in processing the information we receive. Taking advise from people can allow us to learn from others mistake or their achievements. Accepting those advise and thinking on those to come up with something of our own is a sign of intelligent thinking. Respecting our elders which is necessary and listening to what they say, thinking about it, questioning ourselves if that particular piece of suggestion or advise shall lead to something more productive could be better. This will lead us to learn if we can come up with something better and improve our confidence or it can lead to learning a new idea which we can use to live life efficiently.
For parents, if are reading this should not impose their suggestion on children. Suggestions and advises mean feeding children with our learnings and giving them freedom to think on it. In computers, this works well and is called as open source. An open source software is a piece of software that someone creates and sets it free for people to modify and use on their own. This has an affect that if someone comes up with something productive, the world can get a better version of software to solve the problems that exist. For this, developers have to give up greed because licensing software may not reach the mass of audience that it actually should.
Relating parental concern to this software open sourcing, giving children freedom to think and experience can be related to open sourcing software where suggestions and advise act as the invested program and parents are still making profits for the fact that their children are gaining self-confidence and becoming a better decision taker. But parents are concerned if this open sourcing will lead to loss and that's very genuine concern being guardian and the solution to it is having a close look at children. If their independence leads to something destructive, parents' role is to support children there. This approach will eventually make parents friendlier to their children upbringing can be more productive than ever. Here we children have a role to exploiting this independence and not taking advantage of it. This is a sign of intelligent action. Now we have to decide on our approach to be intelligent and productive or intelligent for us but dumb in action.
Still lots of the few readers will think I am talking crap because I am still young enough to not be commenting on this thing? Don't trust me? Search any successful person (successful according to you. Someone who you admire as parents or admire as child and learn about the decisions he/she made). We can try to relate to the way of thinking rather than relating to their action. Want examples? I can give you real life examples on how people make mistakes and what should have been done to avoid the consequences, with examples. Comment or message me and I will give plenty to convince you. ;)
 
Posted on 08-02-18 8:35 PM     [Snapshot: 41]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bhagwad Gita has answers to everything. Lord Krishna knows everything ; parents know nothing
 


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