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 Amby Writes :- Kick Boxing in the Swimming Pool

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Posted on 06-14-16 7:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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One thing I do not need motivation for,from anyone, is to swim. Summer means a lot of dip in the pool for me.I am a water baby (though in no close resemblance I look like a mermaid, I call myself a fish...rather a beautiful fat fish). Anyhoo, So finally in June I started by dip and stroke for this season I always fancied swimming in the national swimming complex at Satdobato. The size of the pool is of international standard so, every lap feels like an achievement (If you are a smoker or on the healthier side of weight, you know what I am talking about). The temperature and the humidity of K- town has been hitting the higher side due to no pre monsoon this year. So yesterday, I kept all my appointments aside and went for a nice swim.

I avoid weekends coz it is pretty crowed but to my agony, yesterday it was like, “oh Amby is coming for a swim, let the whole world join the revolution”. It was FULL of people, majority of them being male (No point for guessing, I never understood the dominance of male everywhere except paijama parties but heard guys are also doing that these days Sigh!). See I love to swim that means I dont give a flying f@#k who is swimming beside me or infront of me. It is me and the water OK! Even when I go with my friends and my family, I prefer to be left alone. I dont participate in stupid games or fooling around in the pool. I SWIM means I SWIM....PERIOD. But in years of plunging I have unwilling noticed that there are certain catagories of people who come to the swimming pool.

  1. The selfie queen – Even if I have mentioned a feminine noun there and with my above statement, I would like to draw your attention is, TO MY DISBELIEF, these are guys taking pictures. Like seriously!!! pouting lips, posing with a twisted waist, hugging, fancy faces, What the hell. They stay in the water only for prolly 10% of the total time. Rest of the time it is SHOW TIME. Not stereotyping that it is done just by women but men always always always complained about these things. What kind of breed is this? ( Dont say gay....then again you are being a sexist).

  2. The fish born – These are the rarest kind of species. Found at a percentage of 3-5 in a pool, these people genuinely like swimming, maybe for weight loss or just to get that sexy tan, these are the sincere people. They dont look right, they dont look left, they will do their own stuff and then leave. Most of them have pretty mighty body if you ask me ( what ??I was just appreciating beauty while I took my head out to breathe DUH!).

  3. The poser baby - Comes in a group of 4-6, these are young kids (age maybe from 21-26 at an average) are there to have fun. They do stunts, jump around, somershalt, back flip, coconut jump, underwater, games over games. They are there JUST to have fun. And I guess the clubs make money with this kinda crowd.

  4. The pervert pigs oink oink!- If you are a woman who goes alone for a dip, understand what I am talking about. A lot of girls/ women hesitate to go alone for a swim( specially in Nepal) is the kind of situations they get into coz of these pigs. Since women are in very less clothing ( the less the better for these guys) in the pool, these hogs try to molest them in a very subtle way. For example, while swimming, he pretends that he didnt see her coming from the other direction and goes straight bumping into her. “Oh Sorry!” is such an easy escape. She will definitely give him a benefit of doubt.

    But unfortunately, yesterday one of the hogs happen to ran out of luck. He came across a woman named Amby (Evil laughter MUHAHHAH). For the first time when he grabbed my thigh in the water and said sorry, like a typical stupid woman I said “its OK” and moved on. Second time when I saw him coming towards me, my instincts started working. I had the choice to change my direction, but I didnt. Oh hell no!. I let him come to my direction and the moment he tried to put his hands on me, I kicked my left leg so hard without any aim that it landed on his balls. Yeap OUCH! He didnt say a word and his expression PRICELESS.I gave him a look(Nah! It was not a flirtish look. I was just letting him know who is the boss).Did I say sorry? NOOO. Why would I?? Iwas not sorry at all. I knew I was going to kick him. It was in my plan. So next time when he tries to pick on a girl, he will remember how it feels to get a big blow on his groin. I didnt aim it but I just got lucky....lol! It was a very satisfying 2 hours after that. No one dared to cross my lane :).

P.S. I forgot to ask....which catagory do you fall into :)?
Last edited: 14-Jun-16 07:49 AM
Last edited: 14-Jun-16 07:52 AM

 
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Posted on 06-15-16 1:30 PM     [Snapshot: 1549]     Reply [Subscribe]
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एम्बी.... समाचार सोचनीय छ !!


सातदोबाटो पाैडी पोखरीमा युवक मृत भेटिए ।
कान्तिपुर समाचार

- डि. के हनाल, काठमाडौं

असार १, २०७३- प्रहरीले सातदोबाटो स्थित पौडी पोखरीमा एकजना युवालाई बुधबार मृत अवस्थामा फेला पारेको छ । काठमाडौँ नरदेभीका नाज जुजुमान मासीख्वा पौडी पोखरीमा मृत अवस्था तैरिरहेको प्रहरीले फेला पारेको हो।

प्रहरीमा जुजुमानका साथिहरुले सोमबार देखि उनी सम्पर्क विहिन भएको भन्दै खोजतलासका लागि निवेदन दर्ता गरेको तेस्रो दिन उनी मृत फेला परेको हुन । मासीख्वाको मृत्युका सम्बन्धमा प्रहरी वृत्त सातदोबाटोले अनुसन्धान थालेको छ । अनुसन्धानको क्रममा जुजुमान पौडी खेल्न नआउने र पौडी खेलेको बेला डुब्दा डुब्दै ,मदत माग्न जाँदा कसैको पाखुरा समातिन पुगेको, मृतकको हातमा फेला परेको रौंले पुस्टि हुन् पुगेको छ ! तर डुबेर मृत्यु भएको नाज जुजुमान मासीख्वाको मुत्र थैली कसरि फुटिन पुग्यो भन्ने बिषयलाइ लिएर डाक्टरहरु अहिले पनि आश्चर्यचकित भएका छन् !

 
Posted on 06-15-16 1:39 PM     [Snapshot: 1623]     Reply [Subscribe]
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समाचार सोचनीय नै छ नासे ब्रो...कतै नाज जुजुमान माशिख्वा तो मुत्र थैली तपाई कि प्यारी एम्बी को प्रहार ले फुटेको त हैन?
 
Posted on 06-15-16 2:37 PM     [Snapshot: 1725]     Reply [Subscribe]
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बुधबार पौडी पोखरीमा मृत भेटिएको युवाको बारेमा नया तथ्य |

नागरिक न्युज ललितपुर बयूरो,

असार २, हिजो बुधबार ललितपुर पौडी पोखरीमा भेटिएको मृत भेटिएको युवाको बारेमा अरु नया तथ्य प्रहरीले फेला पारेको छ \ हिजो समाचारमा आए जस्तो मुत्रनली फुटेको नभई २ बाट अन्दकोश फुटेर चार भएको कुरा पाटन मानसिक अस्पतालका डाक्टर ले पुस्टि गरेका छन् \ अनि घटनालाइ रहस्यमय बनाउने गरि अरु तथ्य आएको कुरा प्रहरीले बताएको छ \ प्रतक्ष्यदरसीका अनुसार ति मृत युवा र तिनलाई पानी भित्रै किक हानेर ठहरै बनाउने युवती प्रेमी-प्रेमिका भएको बुझिएको छ \ CCT camera को क्लिपले पनी उक्त कुरा पुस्टि गरेको छ \ प्रहरीले प्राप्त गरेको फुटेज मा दुइ जना गफ गर्दै हात समातेर पौडी पोखरीको मुख्य गेट बाट भित्र छिरेको देखिन्छ | अनि हिजो समाचारमा आए जस्तो युवाले पौडी खेल्न नजान्ने कुरा पनि साचो नभएको कुरा ति युवाको साथीले पुस्टि गरेका छन् \ ति युवा संग सिक्किममा संगै पढेका साथीका अनुसार उनि खोलामा दहमा वा पोखरीमा जताततै पौडी खेल्न पोख्त थिए | त्यसैले प्रहरीको यस सम्बन्धमा अलि अर्कै हिसाबले अनुसन्धान थालेको छ | जस अनुसार युवा आफ्नी प्रेमिका संग जिस्किने क्रममा पानी भित्र बाट उनको हात समात्न पुगेको तर युवतीले अर्कै मान्छेले हात समात्न आयो भनेर लात्तीले प्रहार गरेको हुन सक्ने अनुमान गरेको छ | युवा पौडी खेल्न जान्ने भए पनि अन्द्कोश मा भएको प्रहारले पानी भित्रै रन्थनियेर सेल्टिमुर खाएको हुन सक्ने देखिएको छ |
 
Posted on 06-15-16 7:52 PM     [Snapshot: 2549]     Reply [Subscribe]
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chya!! Nas jyu le ekchin lai ta mero satto khannu bho.....sacchi mareko bhaye k hunthyo hola hai LOL
 
Posted on 06-15-16 10:32 PM     [Snapshot: 3079]     Reply [Subscribe]
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लाहुरे ब्रोले हसायेर मार्नु भो मलाई !

"sacchi mareko bhaye k hunthyo hola"



एम्बी... त्यो हाम्रो एक दम सफ्ट स्पट हो .. तेसैले हजुरलाइ म गेडा फुटाउने सल्लाह चै दिन्न ! बरु गेडा समातेर निचोडे कसो होला, एम्बी ? तेसो गर्दा उसको "आया... आया" को इन्टेनसीटी हेरी कति जोडने, कति घटाउने, फुल कन्ट्रोल हजुरको हत्केलामै हुन्छ नि !

एम्बी... हजुरलाइ हाम्रो गेडाको बारे तेती ज्ञान नभाको जस्तो हाम्लाई लागेको छ ! तेसैले समस्त पुरुष जातीको हितको लागि स्त्रीहरुले हाम्रो गेडाको बारे जानकारी राखी दिन हुन्, मेरी प्यारी एम्बीको, येही धागो बाट आवाहन गर्दछु !

खास गरि ६ र ७ एक दम महत्वपूर्ण भएको हुनाले येही पोस्ट गर्दै छु ल !

10 Things About Testicles Ladies Need To Know

6. Take It Easy Lassies: His Balls are Vulnerable


One direct hit down there and his avocados will turn in to guacamole. Why does that happen? Well, let’s break it down for you. Testicles, first of all, do not have the protection of bones and muscles – something that is afforded to virtually most of the other organs in a man’s body. This is the reason why they are so, for lack of a better word, vulnerable. Squeeze them hard enough for a prolonged period of time and the man will black out. Strike them hard enough and his baby making factory is likely to close down forever.

While they do like a lot of attention during phases of heightened arousal, make sure you handle the family jewels with a lot of care. This is because if you want to create a family, you need to give a chance for the seeds to actually spread. While God didn’t give men down here a “Fragile” sign plastered on his penis, there are more than enough signs to easily understand that the balls aren’t something you joke or juggle around with.

7. What Happens When Men Get Kicked in the Nutballs?

Kicked in the NutballsEver wondered why men hold on to their stomachs when they are kicked in the nutballs? While women have the same amount of nerve endings between their legs as compared to men, the pain receptors in men are much higher in number.

The nerve endings of the testicles are however, connected to the stomach. Hence the reason why, when men are kicked in the groin, they end up rolling in the ground while holding their stomachs in exasperation.

We don’t think we need to say this, but since mankind has been hitting new lows of stupidity as of late, we will just put it out there: Don’t try this at home.

यो चै बोनस टिप्स : Scratching Them Gives Enormous Pleasure


Men usually get a mini-orgasm when they scratch their balls. Besides, if you learn how to do it for them there could not be anything better for your man.

Just gently scratch the part where the shaft connects to the ball sack, and make the skin of each ball rub against each other with your fingers. It will take a bit of time for you to get the art of scratching his balls. However, once you get it, there will be nothing more relieving your man.

 
Posted on 06-16-16 3:31 AM     [Snapshot: 4721]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Harrey Nas jyu aaba yesto detail ma lekhnu bho... Kati jangar ho......ma dhanya bhaye.... Aaba arko thread lekhne thulo protsahan prapta bho :)
Kritagya chhu!!!!
 
Posted on 06-16-16 5:54 AM     [Snapshot: 5237]     Reply [Subscribe]
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जाँगर लगाई वरी पोस्ट गरेको लेख हजुरले पढ्नु भो होला भन्ने आशा लिएको छु है एम्बी ! त्यो लेख ज्ञानमूलक छ नि ...होइन र एम्बी ?

मेरी एम्बी खुशी हुन् भो ... अरु मलाई केहि नै चाहियो र !
 
Posted on 06-16-16 6:21 AM     [Snapshot: 5273]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ma line by line pardhchu hai Nas jyu...comments haru ani one by one sabai lai reply ni dinchu :)
 
Posted on 06-16-16 6:26 AM     [Snapshot: 5396]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हो एम्बी, हामी सबैले हजुरको रिप्लाई डिजर्भ गर्छौ... तेसैले सबको कमेन्टलाइ रिप्लाई गर्नुस ल .. फुर्सद लि वरी !

 
Posted on 06-16-16 6:34 AM     [Snapshot: 5463]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Aaba reply matrai garnu ki arko ni lekhnu bhanera sochdaichu hai :P
 
Posted on 06-16-16 7:05 AM     [Snapshot: 5619]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हजुर को जो मर्जी ....
 
Posted on 06-17-16 11:03 AM     [Snapshot: 9492]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nas jyu ko protsan le maile arko thread ni chittai lekhchu kyara!
 
Posted on 06-17-16 11:06 AM     [Snapshot: 9498]     Reply [Subscribe]
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यो कथामा गेडा फुटाउनु भो ...आर्को कथामा मेरी प्यारी एम्बीले के चै फुटाउने हो भनेर ... कुरी बसिराको छु !
 
Posted on 06-22-16 12:01 AM     [Snapshot: 10435]     Reply [Subscribe]
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फ्लोरिडामा पौडी पोखरीमा नुहाएसँगै १६ जना किशोरीहरु गर्भवती भएका छन् ।

यी किशोरीहरु १३ देखि १७ वर्षसम्मका थिए । उनीहरु कुनै पुरुषसँग शारीरिक सम्बन्ध राखेर गर्भवती भएका होइनन् र अहिलेसम्म उनीहरुले कुनैपनि पुरुषसँग यौन सम्पर्क गरेका पनि छैनन् । यस्ता १६ जना भर्जिन किशोरीहरु सहवास विनै एकसाथ गर्भवती बनेसँगै त्यहाँ हंगामा नै मच्चियो।

मिडिया रिपोर्ट अनुसार यी सबै किशोरीहरु आफ्नो साथीको पूल पार्टीमा सहभागि भएका थिए । जहाँ उनीहरु जमेर पार्टी गरे र नाचगान पश्चात स्विमिंग पूलमा नुहाउन गए । मज्जाले नुहाए पनि । तर त्यसको केही समयपछि उक्त पोखरीमा नुहाए सबै १६ जना किशोरीहरु गर्भवती भएको पत्ता लाग्यो ।

यसरी पौडी पोखरीमा एकैदिन नुहाउन गएका युवतीहरु एकसाथ गर्भवती बनेको घटनाको छानविन गर्ने क्रममा उक्त पोखरीको पानीमा सुक्ष्म जाँच गरियो । त्यस क्रममा किशोरीहरुले नुहाउने बेलामा पानीमा पुरुषका जिवित शुक्रकिटहरु रहेको तथ्य पत्ता लाग्यो । तिनै शुक्रकिटहरु युवतीको यौनांगबाट भित्र प्रवेश गरी उनीहरुलाई गर्भवती बनाएको निष्कर्ष निकालियो ।

यसरी स्विमिंग पूलको पानीले महिला गर्भवती बनेको घटना यो पहिलो भने होइन । यसअघि सन् २००९ मा पोल्याण्डमा एक होटलको स्विमिंग पूलमा पौडी खेल्ने तथा नुहाउने गरेकी एक किशोरीको पनि गर्भ रहेको घटना सार्वजनिक भएको थियो ।

la hai! ambrosia ji bichar puraunu hola. :D
 
Posted on 06-22-16 8:26 AM     [Snapshot: 10533]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हाहाहा हसायो है ..... टाइट !! तेस्तो नी हुन्छ लोल !!!
 
Posted on 06-22-16 8:58 AM     [Snapshot: 10557]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ambrosia, make sure to have pills before you go to swimming pool next time :)
http://www.onlinekhabar.com/2016/06/443383/
 
Posted on 06-22-16 9:08 AM     [Snapshot: 10569]     Reply [Subscribe]
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gone12....lol not you plz lol
 
Posted on 06-22-16 10:56 AM     [Snapshot: 10626]     Reply [Subscribe]
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"फ्लोरिडामा पौडी पोखरीमा नुहाएसँगै १६ जना किशोरीहरु गर्भवती"

आफुले कहिले काँही स्ट्रेस आउट भाको बेला रिलाक्स गर्न बाथरुमको टबमा मनतातो पानि फिल गरीवरी दुब्की लगाउँछु ...अनि आँखा चिम्ली वरी ध्यान मग्न हुने कोशिश गर्छु ... कुहिएको त् छ हो मेरो दिमाग ... अनि त् पानि भित्रै ......

मलाई लागेको थियो ... पानीमा पर्न साथ् सबै भुराभुरीहरु सिल्टेमुर खान्छ होला भनेर .... खैर ... स्विमिङ्ग पुलमा शु शु त् धेरै गरियो तर .... विर्य पतन नै गर्ने आँटचै अहिले सम्म गर्न सकिएको छैन .....कुरो





 
Posted on 06-22-16 7:50 PM     [Snapshot: 10749]     Reply [Subscribe]
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हैट! नास दाजु swimming pool ma बिर्य पतन गर्न पनि त भयेन नि नत्र फेरि त्यहा पौडिन आउनी सब जल चरीहरुको पनि तेस्तै भो भने त, ६-७ बर्स पछि तेइ पौडी पोखरी अनि गल्ली गल्लीमा तपाईंको अनुहार भयेका बिना बाउका कुमारि युबतिका सन्तानहरु micro & Mini Nas हरु खेल्दै हुन्छ्न फेरि।
पिलिच नास दाजु ती सम्भाबित कुमारी आमाहरु अनि Micro n Mini णस को खतिर पनि swimming पूल लै प्रदुसित नपारिदिनुस मेरो १००० बिन्ती!!
:D
 
Posted on 06-22-16 9:04 PM     [Snapshot: 10787]     Reply [Subscribe]
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"swimming पूल लै प्रदुसित नपारिदिनुस"

हा हा ... नोज्ज्स ब्रो ! मैले दुबरा फ्याक्ट चेक गरे ! त्यो समाचार हावाको समाचार रहेछ ! अमेरिकन प्रेगनेन्सी डट अर्गमा पढेको:

Can pregnancy occur if ejaculation takes place in water?

It is not likely that tiny sperm could travel through the vast area of water that would fill a pool, bath tub, or hot tub to reach the vagina and result in pregnancy. If ejaculation occurred in plain warm water, sperm could survive for a few minutes. If ejaculation occurs in very hot water, or water filled with pool chemicals, bubbles or other substances, sperm would not be able to survive for more than a few seconds. Pregnancy occurring from this is very unlikely and in most cases is not possible at all.


 



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