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 Why are We not Friends on Facebook?

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Posted on 03-19-14 10:31 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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So finally he deleted me from Facebook (FB). After  2 years long relationship and many fights over whether we should be FB friends or not; last year I had added him and today, he deleted me. 

Let me take you to the flashback of the whole story. The first time we argued was when, over a cup of coffee, I mentioned how people liked my profile picture and complimented me. With a hard grumpy face he asked me why I never added him on FB? Is there anything that he shouldn’t know about me?

My funda  is very simple. I meet you almost every day, I talk to you everyday over phone, skype, yahoo. I text you every single hour and you are the first person to know if anything happens in my life so now tell me why do we need to be on facebook?And this argument continued until I finally added him on my FB. Now the real game started from that moment. For once I thought the entire argument will be over once we are so called “FB Friends” but to my dejection it was just the tip of an iceberg.

The very next early morning I get a call from him. Looking at his name blinking on my phone, I felt so good. “OMG! He wants to wake me up and kiss me good morning” was the thought that flashed through my mind. In a very pretentious lazy, sultry voice when I said Hello!... trust me, I felt I just landed at Pearl Harbor when it was attacked and bombarded. The story behind his anger was why some guy was flirting with me on one of my picture and I was replying back. And more over why he is NOT friends on his FB. So here I was in my bed, explaining to him that its just FB and people are like that there. Now the argument went worse, “you are never like that with me”. And I think I lost it then and there…..my patience.

SO the squabble continued for a year, over my profile picture, my friends on facebook, my comments, my status and of course my liking of someone else’s picture. I never understood why was it so important for him when in real life he was my world. I asked couple of my friends and they had similar issues but not so chronic. 

Today, out of nowhere he deleted me from his FB with a message:-

This is affecting our relationship. Argument over FB is very trivial, I have understood. I know we don’t need to be on FB to flaunt that we love each other. We don’t need to tag ourselves in pictures to show that we stick together no matter what and I hate guys flirting with you on FB. So till I can handle it, I decided we will stay real and off virtual. I love you.

I really don’t know if I should be Happy? Scared? Or Worried with this decision but one thing is for sure…. Fromtomorrow I will not get morning calls with an annoyed voice about a profile picture comment.


 
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Posted on 03-23-14 11:32 PM     [Snapshot: 1498]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If this story is real, probably the male character needs to act little maturely in his part whereas female needs to know that her man may be tough for the world but still a baby for her. Facebook is both relation maker n breaker. I've read news about lovers spying their partners on facebook only to find latter cheating on him/her. Probably there are tens of thousands of stories like these out there. Given these prospects, she can not really demonize his feelings and behavior. I am not even trying to judge the way she acted. Obviously, he didn't like the way she was trying to conceal certain things like not making him her facebook buddy while all strangers are connected to her on the facebook. It's bit unruly and very discomforting for him. Her logic of not making someone her facebook friend whom she meets everyday might be reasonable to certain extent but to understand a man's emotion, she's concealing something or acting mysterious. She has already seeded the poison of suspicion there. Now he is given access to her facebook world, he asks her hellava questions. Women in general don't like to be questioned a lot whereas men don't backup in doing so. Irritation begins and hence happy moments become short-lived and mostly distant memories. They must have gone through this whole year. Every single question he asks her, she may have tried to answer but with her woman logic? must have failed everytime. And, the guy should have manned up little bit up instead of becoming cry baby and torturing her entire time asking about posts/likes she made. These two characters are equally involved in the mess and I don't blame anyone of them, I don't even blame facebook. This is how everyone would act. As much as he wanted to befriend with her on facebook, he was hurried to defriend her. He experienced his mirage. And, it's good for her not to try to understand him, just keep loving him, show that she loves him. Love is blind, let it be blind, love him unconditionally, understanding comes there naturally clearing cloud of doubts and misunderstanding. I'm sure one day, they will rise up together, grow up, act maturely and one day they'll be laughing at the childish acts they committed over facebook comments. Life is collection of experiences, they'll certainly relish these later in their life but back in the moment, they may also realize life is too short to argue on petty stuffs like facebook comments.

 
Posted on 03-24-14 12:54 AM     [Snapshot: 1526]     Reply [Subscribe]
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bittertruth,
That was a pretty long and detailed reply to my thread. Thank you so much for that.
I wont defend any one character in this story. Both of them did what they think was right, might not be correct from the other person's perspective.
Even I dont blame facebook. Facebook is very practical, if used with the right intention. There is always good and bad side of things. Maybe when is comes to this relationship, FB was taken to much into consideration. Like you said, life is more than FB and arguments over such petty things.
( Did u like the writing??)
 
Posted on 03-24-14 1:11 AM     [Snapshot: 1537]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Of course, I'm loving it.
Keep it short and sweet.
 
Posted on 03-26-14 1:09 AM     [Snapshot: 1706]     Reply [Subscribe]
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FB is a bitch. I disconnected my cell phone (can use gmail to call for free and I can only call and that frees me up from picking up phones when I'm not willing to talk or skype for free video calls with the closed ones) but can't disconnect from the FB bullshit. There are people that I don't care or don't want to know about but they are there like a disease I want to get rid of. I don't care whether they live or die. But there are there. From 200 to now 20 friends and still unsatisfied.
 
Posted on 03-26-14 1:35 AM     [Snapshot: 1721]     Reply [Subscribe]
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You don't sound like an unsocial person to me :s
 
Posted on 03-26-14 1:45 AM     [Snapshot: 1723]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I'm only social to fine people. since most of the people I know from past, are lazy people, I can't connect with lazy people who know nothing but they think they do. But my virtual friends are growing and I like that. Anonymity is beautiful. Hope that makes sense. No hatred though. I liked it better when there was no internet..and life was just fine..but there are benefits of internet ..as you can go explore but the bad thing about internet is also the same. You are forced to know/deal with people you normally would seldom care about.
 
Posted on 03-26-14 1:52 AM     [Snapshot: 1729]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I am comfortable with both anonymity as well as the real me...
You do make sense here.. That is why I say there is always two sides of the story :)
I think... NOW we cannot live without Internet coz one or the other way we are connected to that :)
 
Posted on 03-26-14 1:54 AM     [Snapshot: 1731]     Reply [Subscribe]
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true..I must learn to adjust. my fault.
 
Posted on 03-26-14 2:12 AM     [Snapshot: 1741]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sorry if i sounded rude....that was not the intention:)
 
Posted on 03-26-14 2:17 AM     [Snapshot: 1743]     Reply [Subscribe]
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You added the sentence/s I wasn't able to add. :)
 
Posted on 03-26-14 2:29 AM     [Snapshot: 1748]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I read ur stock article......mmmmm i knw rupees but cents are difficult to understand:)
 
Posted on 04-02-14 12:13 AM     [Snapshot: 1998]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If this were a true story, that guy needs to grow up and chill the [Disallowed String for - banned word] out instead of being a pussy.
 
Posted on 04-02-14 8:19 AM     [Snapshot: 2078]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Came back to this post again. Great reply all. Found too many should have/need to .... to incline morally to a situation but it doesnt happen in reality. Life is what you can make out of it, its ok to be stupid once in a while, we all know what's right or wrong and it doesnt hurt to be wrong intentinally at times. Give people their comfort zone and see how they act, no hatred, no jealousy and see how it uplifts every relationships. Just my two cents but I loved reading through everyone's post.
Ambrosia. how about a new story? I cant wait to read it. Keep sharing on Sajha not FB....JK
 
Posted on 04-02-14 8:25 AM     [Snapshot: 2088]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Haha silent blogger.....yea yea off course not on FB....Will you give me a dollar next time rather than your two cents :P.....
 
Posted on 04-02-14 8:45 AM     [Snapshot: 2102]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Good one. Sure buddy. This post has made my bad day at work really good. You should keep writing. I will try to come up with something too.
 
Posted on 04-02-14 8:57 AM     [Snapshot: 2112]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Awwww that is soo sweet of you to say....just wait for 10 minutes and something new is coming up for you...:D and thanks for the motivation!!!
 
Posted on 11-10-15 11:31 AM     [Snapshot: 5594]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Interesting read. Keep it coming.
 
Posted on 11-10-15 10:15 PM     [Snapshot: 5953]     Reply [Subscribe]
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What are you doing .. Making - a2 years old post alive again lol
 
Posted on 11-11-15 7:05 PM     [Snapshot: 6224]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 11-11-15 7:29 PM     [Snapshot: 6244]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@microbiology bro, hamro @neurologist bro timrai twin brother from different father paryo ki kya ho. Timi bhanda pani noka niklyo ta . :)
 



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