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 Do successful women scare men?
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Posted on 01-21-11 10:32 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Conventionally speaking, men are supposed to earn while women are supposed to sit at home, do housework and up bring the children. However, this age-old thinking is gradually getting a makeover with coming in of an ever successful, dynamic woman of twenty-first century. Is this change altering the attitude of men towards this successful breed of women? Are men finding it hard to approach successful or wealthy women just due to the fear of rejection? Isn’t it true that men prefer dating less successful women than them?
 
Posted on 01-21-11 10:47 PM     [Snapshot: 19]     Reply [Subscribe]
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no. no. and no.
from my experience so far, like attracts like. for example, twaake keta like twaake keti because they want to 'twaak' with each other. that's it. but an educated and ambitious guy/girl seeks the same type of mate. it's in our (human) nature to seek our equal or better, not the lesser type. that's why 'good guy/girl always comes last'.
why do you ask? aafno equal date/s paaiyena ki k? :P

 
Posted on 01-21-11 11:23 PM     [Snapshot: 32]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yes, they do scare men since most of the successful women are not that attractive. Well I didn't say they are ugly, did I? 
You know most of the beautifuls are already booked before entering any college. Thus, if we like to date single and successful women then only scary one is left for us (unfortunately)
 
Posted on 01-21-11 11:45 PM     [Snapshot: 95]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ultimately I think it is about where you find your security from. If you find your primary security from your job/position, then yes, if you meet another person (whether they are a man or a woman) then you will be very position conscious. If you find security from your looks, then if you meet someone better looking than you, then you will feel insecure.


 
Posted on 01-21-11 11:46 PM     [Snapshot: 89]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I dont personally  have problem only   if the women /girl in question has her ego checked.

See  succesful womens (Nepalese women I should say) have ego the size of universe.For eg have you ever seen any PHD holder Nepalese women married with say SLC pass men? No , But there are plenty of men married to illetrate women.
as bhikkari above  said its like attracts like but even in that scnerio I see Nepalese succesful women are Jelous ( again of ego) of their equally succesfull partner.

so in my observation its not the men who are problem but women , so to your question even if the man approaches , its highly unlikely that the girl/women will reject him thats why true Man like to date less sucesful women. I 'd say we dont really see succesful/unsuccesful thing in women , you women do because of your ego.we look for beauty or  sexy  or that connection thing or whatever it is called but not money or carrer or whatever you call success.
 

 
Posted on 01-22-11 12:31 AM     [Snapshot: 147]     Reply [Subscribe]
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for me its a turn on ..
 
Posted on 01-22-11 1:15 AM     [Snapshot: 182]     Reply [Subscribe]
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It all comes down to individual preference I guess. I for one have somehow always been attracted to girls whom I find very intelligent.
 
Posted on 01-22-11 3:02 AM     [Snapshot: 215]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 'Boys' cannot handle successful women, "Men" can!

so to answer your question, 'boys' are scared of successful women, not "Men"

 
Posted on 01-22-11 7:55 AM     [Snapshot: 292]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nopes. As long as she makes me my sandwich and my morning tea, we're equal. ;)


 
Posted on 01-22-11 8:44 AM     [Snapshot: 321]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I think the SCARE factor for men is the possibility of the woman not respecting for being him. Generally speaking most women want men who are more successful than themselves. Have you noticed how some Nepalese women hesitate to talk about their men if they are less successful than themselves.

I have seen bunch of DV holders and Labor GC holders who go back home and nab nurses as their wife, within couple years the nurse wife shows humiliation introducing her gas station worker husband as her husband in public.

But if a Nurse male goes back home and brings a SLC pass girl, he would have less of a problem in the same manner. This goes for all races and all qualifications i think.

Personally i think success and intellect in a woman is a turn on.

 
Posted on 01-22-11 10:54 AM     [Snapshot: 399]     Reply [Subscribe]
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What you consider as successful?

Getting a PhD is considered as a successful?
Getting good paying job is considered as being successful?
Or How are you living your life is considered successful??

I will chose third point as a measure of successful

a women can have higher degree or may have higher paying job than man but the question is How she is bearing the responsibility in family. Although it is not possible to divide labor and economic contribution in exact equal half, in my opinion their division among husband and wife must be almost equal.

  1.  In most of the cases maintenance cost of the women is higher than men and women easily get involve into competetion, men on the other hand maintenance cost is low and most of the time they don’t get involved into competition with another men in fashion etc.
  2. In practice, among average Nepalese family what generally seen is men happily spends his earnings on his family women mostly on her maintenance.
  3.  It is ok for men women spending on her maintenance but they need to contribute on household work as her contribution, but most of the time I have seen women complaining on this, " kattti ghar ko kaam garnu parya ekchhin fursat chaina" but men never asks hey you spend 300 dollars on your dress while I am happy with 50 dollars jean, hey if you want to spend 250 dollars extra on your outfit you need to earn that even though its your own salary. Think about what if men started to spend money on their outfit as women do saying it’s my money why should i spend money on family?
  4.  How much money women spend on jewelry? its ok u can spend but don’t say its my money. First contribute your money for family then save for future retirement and if some money left buy jewelry. Don’t find excuse saying " our maintenance cost is very high by nature everywhere in the world" men will find similar excuses saying "You know doing household job is traditionally women's  job so do it" Please don’t complain at that time.
  5. Women may have higher education, higher paying job  (but hey who cares ?), if you spend those money on yourself first then save and lastly on family, in the mean time telling your husband “ma ettiko dherai padheko, "etti dherai kamauney bhayera pani ghar ko kaam garna parney"
  6.  Society has chnaged a lot, now it should not be responsibility of men to build a house for family, so while building a house if it costs 50,000$ (in nepal at least contribute 20,000$, if you dont have that, no problem cook food, do houshold work but dont say " "budo ghar ko kam saam kehi gardaina etti dherai padeyko, yetti kamauney ghar ma pani din raat jotinu pacrha".

 

  1.  Men fight for  "ansa" with his brother or some mean and clever men even try to get more share than his brothers. You also try to get money/costly jewelries / "ansa" from from your parents. If men ask for it don’t say "kasto lovi sasurali ko paisa khana khojney"
  2.  Smartness is measured not in education, salary, cheating manipulating; smartness is measured how nicely as women you are managing your family along side with your husband.
  3. Men actually salute smart women and yes they are afraid of women who are pain in the neck.
  4. If women is married to a men who is lesss educated then her and making less money, they most of the time cry saying “kasto kasto kam nalagney kt haru le kati dhani kta behttaka chhan, ke garnu afno ta karmau usto” if a men is married to a women who is less educated and making less money it does not bother him he just want dinner prepared and handle household work as her contribution”.

 

  1. My observation is most of the Nepalese are not realizing what is the meaning of smartness, if the smartness is just to serve you then it is cunningness not smartness.
  2.  If you r talking about only dating thing. You can’t influence most of the men with your education etc. They want to date a women not their certificate or salary.

Last edited: 22-Jan-11 08:11 PM

 
Posted on 01-22-11 5:16 PM     [Snapshot: 508]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Interesting topic.

I am pretty sure, every person wants their partner to be successful eventually. Also every partner wants their significant other to be able to face defeat/failure with composure and work hard in maintaining whatever "success factors" they count their success upon.

Personally, I wouldnt date a successful woman who doesnt show signs of standing tall when they fail miserably. And besides that a confident successful woman with a down-to-earth personality, If you find her, Just pass me her number. Who wouldnt date her?

So deviating from the topic and in my schoolboy humor tone I ask - "Has Nepalese women started dating NERDS or do they scare them? Do NERDS have a stance on the dating society within Nepalese subculture yet?"



 
Posted on 01-22-11 5:16 PM     [Snapshot: 519]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I can't speak for all men but in my own experience it's not so much success as the attitude that comes with success that turns others off. Think of it, as a girl, would you not be put off by a guy who considered himself successful but had a stinking attitude about it?  I think it works the same way for both men and women.  

Personally, I think a person cannot be considered successful if they don't possess the humility that needs to go hand in hand with success.To me an established, rich, good looking, intelligent person (using some common measures of success) -- man or woman -- is an utter failure if they are arrogant about who they are and what they have achieved. 

Just my thoughts.
 
Posted on 01-23-11 7:35 AM     [Snapshot: 704]     Reply [Subscribe]
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There are people who "hide" behind their education and their professional accomplishment. They try to make up for their lack of self-esteem in other areas of their life through their education, professional accomplishment and social standing. Whether it's a man or a woman, if you have a relationship with such a person then, in some ways, you're marrying a facade. Such a person will think that their success in their career and society makes them very worthy to be a partner. 

Being in a relationship with this type of "successful" person is scary. Why? Because the person will feel that they don't need to work in being a loving and caring person in the relationship. Somehow, their 'borrowed strength' from their profession is supposed to make up for all their other weaknesses in their life.

 
Posted on 01-23-11 10:00 AM     [Snapshot: 736]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yes successful women do scare some men. I am a married woman and I felt the same sometimes while I was unmarried. Some women think that if they are educated and successful, all men will praise her and would like to be her friend. I have lots of male friends. They want to be friend with such ladies who are educated as well as down to earth. Men want women who can communicate with them in any topic like sports, movies, politics, history etc. i.e. a women with good general knowledge. Men want women who can argue with them logically giving good reasons.

The same applies also to Men. Some successful male want women with 32 good character.

 


 
Posted on 01-24-11 8:00 AM     [Snapshot: 920]     Reply [Subscribe]
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बिर्खे काजिले श्रीमतीलाई आफु भन्दा धेरै पडाउनु लेखाउनु हुँदैन बनी बखन्डा गरी हिड्थे रे , अन्ततोगत्वा हरियो पत्ता दिलाउने त श्रीमतीनै रहिन्छन रे ?
कि हामी तेस्तै मानसिकता बोकेर आएको अनी कुरा कानी पनि तेस्तै गरेका हौ ?
 


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