A Nautanki Story: Birthday episode...................................................
22:30 E.S.T
NPR: Manjeet Singh set yet another world record pulling airplane using his ears.
16:30 E.S.T
phone rings at npl2us's desk in NL
npl2us: Thank you for calling Nautanki Brigade at East coast, this is captain npl2us speaking, how may i direct your call?
other end: hey npl2us! this is CH here.
npl2us: Salaam Jer saab!
CH: what is the status of our chopper at your brigade?
npl2us: she's in excellent condition, sir.
CH: Bring her at the Boston base.
npl2us: are we on war, sir? Major Rocky...
CH: just do what i....
npl2us: Rocky sir has gotten better after his leave
CH: oh this guy! just do.....
npl2us: should i bring him too?
CH: for Christ sake do what i told you to. he he he (laughter)
when CH does he he he it is obvious that is he ticked off! His "he he he" is pretty much like lieutenant Colonel BC'c FUG FUG FUG.
Scared npl2us: Yes Sir!
At The Boston Base:
CH on the phone: Hey there Colonel Camo! how's it going there?
CH waits for the response.
CH: that's great! Listen let's check out Brig Mam at the West Brigade and surprise her.
CH waits for the response.
CH: see you there in thirty minutes.
CH: npl2us pull my baby boy (indicating his Harley) outta garage and load him in the chopper.
npl2us: yes sir!
At Camp Flaged Florida:
Col. Camo: Salaam jer saab! how was your flight, sir?
CH: npl2us did good job. let's not waste time here let's go. gotta catch her 17:00 PT sharp.
CH: Btw, are we gonna cross Golf of Mexico? that'd be shorter i guess! no npl2us?
npl2us: weather at the middle of the Golf is bad, sir. we rather fly above west bound US HWY 10 till we get there, Col. saab want to stop by at Jacksonville to buy some paan for TL too. And we need to refill the tank and i am planning to stop by at the Texas base for that, sir. BTW it's Hawaldar Major Loote sir's birthday too.
At the Texas Base: Birthday party was going on on full blast. Everybody were in jolly mood at the camp. npl2us was surprised to see all the east coast battalion. "He did not invite me. He missed me"- thought npl2us. His expression was like of Payton Manning when Adam Vinatieri missed that field goal and said "He missed it!" from the side line on the playoff game to the superbowl. Hawaldar major was in his room with Cleo, Flipty, and Nails. In the room his favorite music "sundari ko mann ma basne ko hola?" was on. Cleo was singing and dancing, Flipty was clapping and Nails was preparing fried khasi's jaw bone with tooth attached (Loote's favorite). Loote got up from the couch managing himself to salute his senior officers Col. Camo and Gen. CH. as thy walked in. Both of'em got big hug from Cleo. Flipty said hi to Capty and Camo, and turned to npl2us and whatchya thinking? trying to make fun of this party at NL? Fsssss Fsssss (her laughter using just air and her lips as usual after each sentence). npl2us: if you want me to i can. Nails came outta kitchen and asked if we wanted fried bones. Nobody seemed interested. Chopper left for West coast brigade. Gen. CH and Col Camo practiced saluting at the back of the chopper, till the chopper almost crashed by the torbulance created by Col. Camo's usual high energy filled salute.
At the Mogambo base West coast Brigade.
Chopper landed at the pad sharp at 16:45 P.T. They all reached Brig's office. Brig mam SNDY was very much impressed with Col. camo's salute. And was even flattered to know Gen. CH had brought Harley for her to ride. Spending no time she picked up the phone at her desk and call her "Lagautiya yaar" TL.
SNDY on the phone: Hey listen! CH, Camo, and Nepte are here. And Ch brought us Harley for us to go on ride this evening. So come to my house in 15 minutes. see you in 15 minutes hai. All hyped SNDY finished what she had to say in one breath. "hope she got the right number."- thought npl2us
SNDY: Nepte, take the Chopper (Harley) out of the Chopper and here you go the key to our Humbee. Follow us.
npl2us: Yes mam!
SNDY: CH and Camo you guys ride the bike. I will take my jeep.
At Brigadier's house:
Apparently, SNDY dialed the right number. TL came sharp 15 minutes after the phone was hung up. TL with her make-up kit on her right hand, two small tin container filled with paan, i suppose, on the left, and a styro-foam coffee cup to do pichkaareee (spit) after paans on cargo pocket of her combat suit. Looking at TL:
Col. Camo: Paan ho Jaye?
TL: Sure! Cannot say no to Floridian paans!
SNDY: Let's change TL and wear those leather ko saaries, what says you?
TL: that's a Fantabulous (Fantastic + Fabulous) idea. And hey, Col. Camo Blush here you go a leather dhoti and Govinda style shirt for you. I made it specially for you. You better have it on when we come out.
Col. Camo: Yes mam! and headed to the guest changing room.
SNDY: how's it, Sanju baba?
Sanju Baba: you look like a Paree in that saree. i want you to wear it more often!
SNDY: it'd look more better if we wear like a regular saree, rather than in this Maraathee style. But this style is easier while riding a bike.
Sanju Baba: what do we know about sarees hagi? looking at all of the guys. npl2us shakes his head to say yes.
Gen. CH: Pulling out the key to the Harley and tossed it to SNDY said "Can you handle it?" (just like i that commercial)
SNDY: Yes! can you? pointing her son with her eyes.
Gen. CH: it'd would be my pleasure mam! CH clipped microphones at both SNDY"s and TL's saree and handed a radio to npl2us so that npl2us can hear them talking - in case of emergency.
Harley ride on Hollywood Blvd. And on the Freeway:
SNDY tried to do set the bike on it's wheel but almost flipped. with the help of TL they make it stand on two wheels.
SNDY: this thing is heavy! i wonder how captain can manage it eating only ghaas paat. i think we should be eating salads hagi TL?
TL: Let's forget about food and get going before Nepte notices this. (not thinkiing npl2us can hear them talking on the radio. with all those rated NLTNFNMN (Nautanki ladies's talk not for male nautankies) bike gets into Hollywood Blvd. Waiving at each and every cars next to them they were soaking up the excitement. Noticing paparachhies taking snaps, SNDY diverted to the freeway. It was ok till the bike was under 45 mph. after it sped on greater speed. When it reached 50+ mph SNDY's bofy was pushed away and TL was holding tight at SNDY's waist. At 60 mph SNDY's both hands were on the handle, where as her and TL's body holding on to the SNDY's waist seemed like a nautanki flag farfariztion in the high wind!
05:30 E.S.T
NPR: Russia in defence warning to US..................... (in heavy British accent)
npl2us woke up, took shower and headed to his desk.
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