पृष्ठभूमी:
म एक बाहुनको छोरो । तर जब देखि मैले बुझ्न थाँले म जात भात भन्नेकुराको एकदम बिरोधी बन्न थाले । मैले त्यस्तो केही अनुकरनणीय काम त गरिन तर मैले आफ्नी जातको घमन्ड र अरुजातकालाई नीच देखाउने काम कहिलै गरिन । त्यसैले म सधैं केही गरेर जतियता बिरोधी काममा होस्टे म हैसे मिलाउन तत्पर हुन्थे ।
बर्तमान:
म (२४ बर्ष) बिगत केही बर्ष देखि एक मङ्गोल जाति की एक युबतीलाई (२१ बर्ष) माया गर्छु । उनी जस्ती सोझी र सरल केटी मैले आज सम्म देखेको छैन। कम बोल्ने, अनुशासित, बोलीमा मिठास । म भेटमा नै उन्को प्रेममा फसें (मेरो जातियता बिरोधी मनसिकताले पनि यसमा सहयोग गरेको थियो) । त्यसपछी आजसम्म हामी एक अर्कालाई प्रेम गर्दै छौ। यहि बर्षमा नै म उनलाई विवाह गर्ने योजना गर्दै छु । मैले मेरो घरमा पनि बिहेको प्रस्ताब रखिसकेको छु । तर जो कोहिले पनि सोच्न सक्दछ मेरो घरको जवाफ - "हुन्न" ।
उन्को पृष्ठभूमी :
उन्को जन्म हुँदा उनले आफ्नो आमा गुमाईन । पाँच दाजुको एक्लो बहिनि। बुवाले केही महिना अगाडि मर्नु भन्दा पहिला एकपटक पनि "छोरी" भनेर नबोलाएको। आज सम्मको सम्पुर्ण पढाई खर्च ठुलो दाजु (होङ्कोङ लाहुरे )ले भरेको। भाउजुको माइत बसेर हुर्केको। सबै दाजुहरुको आ-आफ्नो परिवार सुरु गरेको। (कसैकसैलाई दया आयो होला, चिन्ता नलिनु उनी आफै काम गरेर आफ्नो खर्च जुटाउदै पढ्दै छिन् )
समस्या:
बिहेको लागि हतार नगर्नु। एक चोटि मात्रै गर्ने हो सोच बिचार पुराएर गर्नु। आदि आदि सुझाब दिनेहरु प्रसस्त छन्। अन्तर्जातिय विवाह गर्ने मेरा साथीहरु मलाई त्यस्तो नगर्नु भन्छन । तर म उनीलाई कुनै हालत मा बिहे गर्ने पक्षमा छु । उन्को दाजुहरु बिगत् १ बर्ष देखि उनलाई UKको कार्डवाला १ उन्कै जातिको युबकसँग बिहे गर्न कर गर्दै छन्। उनले नमान्दा उनी सँग कोठामा संगै बस्दै आएको भाई(दाइको छोरा)लाई दाईले छुट्टै बस्न लगाउनु भएछ । मलाई लाग्दै छ मैले गर्दा उनिहरु बीचको नाता टुट्दै छ। यी कुराहरु मैले उनी बाट होईन मैले उनी निकटका साथीहरुबाट थाहा पाएको हुँ । when I asked her wy didnt u tell me this things, She answered not to hurt me n let me focus on my work n studies.
It sounds like she is tolerating all(recent ones) for my sake and giving me time to take action. And she is in pain, I cant tolerate this.
Now as a man I have 2 options:
i) Marry Her ASAP
ii) Let her go
Analysis
Case (i)
- I am here in US for almost 7 months and dont have a penny. (Please.... I am not asking financial help). Just started working last month. have a lot loan to pay. But most important thing is to maintain relation with my parents. I have to put my parents expectations down. And I dont want them to blame her.
- One of her brother is renown in our area for his many bad deeds. So family relation cant go at all.
- Sometimes I feel we are too young to marry.
- If I marry her now I cant bring her here for around a year. So Condition for her would be the same.
- She is surviving on her own. I dont want her to be dependent on other ( including me) for everything.( I dont mean to say I wont spend for her expences but its matter of her self-respect as she is doing now) I dont want her feel so small and take me as a rescurer rather than a lover.
case (ii)
- Indeed Her heart would be broken. I cant forgive myself for that.
- Who knows the hardships in life like her.. loosing mom in birth and never being called by dad... spent most of the time in hostel life,.... no one to visit.. and 'daju ko sasurali ma hurkanu ko pida'... And if I leave her in this time... GOD save her..
- I will be broken.. I dont kno what my guilt will do on my life..
- We both might(cant say will) start a new life with deep scar inside..
My Plan:
After few months, I am planning to go to Nepal and do a secret court marriage. Apply her visa and bring her here. (Ohhhhh I forgot to mention that I m in GC). I will have a underground life here for few years and come out with her to everybody. This, I believe, will kill their anger in joy of getting their child back. nomatter with whom..
Now dear sajhaites, I want your guidance and suggestion on this issue. Please put ur view on my both options. If somebody has gone through similar condition, please share your experience. Some ppl might say this 'thetna' haru yestai hun.. 2/4 year ma eniharuko maya ko bhoot niklincha .. bla bla... I dont care .... I will hope for best life changing answers..
One thing.. please dont say her bichara at any moment... she says she dont like to be called by that name..
kripaya sabai padhera matrau jawaf dinu hola... Please dont put racist and jatibadi comment..
Dhanyabad.
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