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 Having Babies

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Posted on 12-20-12 12:42 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I dont know why nepali people cannot understand individual right to prefer not to have babies. It does not mean a person is sterile. It may mean that the person is practical and does not want a burden to raise a baby in these expensive times. Many people have kids just because they find it awww so cute. For me that is not good enough a reason. Many others want their family name to move on thus they have kids. And there are others who think that kids will look after them in their old age. For me, i tend to think who cares about a family name after you are gone. And what guarantee is that kids will look after you in your old age in these modern times? 
So i have decided not to have kids. The population of the world is exploding. There are 7 billion people. I am doing others a favour by making a few less competitors for the resources. So Thank Me! It is because of guys like me your kids will have some more resources. More Water, More Rice. I know someone who has 4 kids. She finds kids cute. Of course they are. But there is no need to give birth to 4 kids to prove that. There are so many orphans and homeless kids. One can also adopt!. Stop and think my friends! I am not discouraging anyone here. It is just that many people seem to be so focussed on the "get married have kids" lifestyle that they cannot see or understand any alternative. This is so very true for asian people. 
 
Posted on 12-20-12 4:11 PM     [Snapshot: 580]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I have been married for sometime now and when i see other Nepali Folk's children i just want to give up on having children. But one day we plan to have children, our own or adopted.

What is wrong with Nepali Children? Why are they so obnoxious and mannerless? Is it because of thier parent's poor parenting skill?

 
Posted on 12-20-12 4:32 PM     [Snapshot: 618]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Always wondered the same, SAP Dude. Nepali kids, especially in the states, are so obnoxious and ill-mannered that attending 'parties' is a painful task. Kids running around, screaming at each other, crying....

I reckon poor parenting is the main reason for this. More often than not, Nepalese seem to know only one way of 'controlling' their kids -spanking/beating/(insert your choice of word here) but since the US law doesn't allow them to do it, they can't seem to come up w/ a proper way of handling these 'situtations'. This 12 year old kid that I know threated to call the cops on her dad who started becoming overly controlling (thanks to her mom spoiling her). 

On a different note, what's with Nepalese taking kids to all events (and thusly, ruining others' pleasure)?

Re: Having kids, thankfully you're in the US, Freedom. 

 
Posted on 12-20-12 4:46 PM     [Snapshot: 591]     Reply [Subscribe]
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In Nepal's context, there are two major players/factors -

1. Societal Pressure - You must have babies if you are married. Sometimes these take ugly turn (second marriages by husband - even if you have a kid i.e. daughter and they want son or infidelity by a spouse).

2. Agarian culture - more kids means more hands in the fields (This applies to most developing nations).

Ecological Footprint indicates a nations use of resources - How come US (~300 millions) use more resources than India (~1.2 billions)?

Nonetheless, it is better not to have babies if you cannot afford or if you want have 1 or 2.

I bet ya'all have seen spanish familes in US have at least 4 kids - I wish these families would change their attitudes too.

 
Posted on 12-20-12 5:16 PM     [Snapshot: 687]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Another thing to think about is do you think you are doing your kids a favour by giving birth to them? What is there to be grateful for anyways, looking at the world the way it is now. Work like a  slave to the system to make a living. Let us reflect on our own lives. Do we want our kids to go through the same rat race? I see mostly a cruel world out here. And it will only get worse methinks. Nepal is gone case. The world itself is not getting any better. Most people struggle all their life. Parents staying in old folks home. Husband and Wife taking turns to look after baby and working different shifts. So what is the use? i know that the 2-3 kids that i would have given birth to will be thanking me for not giving birth to them. Mother earth will be happy with me. I am not being pessimistic here but this is the sad reality of this world now. It is getting too materialistic. Imagine India and Nepal where majority are poor and land selling for 1-2 crore. What is there to celebrate except for the rich?.
 
Posted on 12-20-12 5:23 PM     [Snapshot: 709]     Reply [Subscribe]
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the facts of having baby:
1) You become secondary, the baby becomes primary, that comes automatically may be god gifted
2) you know why your parents love you and you feel loving back them more, because you realized what paretns are really meant for
3)you want different new friends, partners in different phases of life, so having a baby may fulfill those
4) yes in fact true, but it depends on children too, they can be your support in old times
5) you become more responsible because its your responsibility, a hungry baby comes to you and ask for food , he doesnt care of anything and your responsibility is to feed him
6) you will see pain in ass once you have baby , that is true , to raise him
more to follow

 
Posted on 12-20-12 5:42 PM     [Snapshot: 743]     Reply [Subscribe]
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i toltaally agree with freedom2012, having kids just for the sake of having them shouldnt be the reason of having them
 
Posted on 12-20-12 6:30 PM     [Snapshot: 792]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Freedom2012, I disagree with the notion that your kids will be forced to live their lives like slaves. Life is remarkable beautiful. It's what/how you envision it that shapes things. 

I remember a cousin of mine telling how the sight of his infant daughter's smile upon his return from a tiring day at work helped him ease through all the tension that he suffered. Really, a kid's joyful smile/laughter has got to be one of the most delightful things in lives! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc

 
Posted on 12-20-12 7:01 PM     [Snapshot: 841]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Riddle bro,
then that would make a selfish transaction wont it?. So have a baby so to forget worries and tensions by seeing him/her smile?. But even then the baby will not remain a baby forever. So isnt it better to go to a daycare centre where the supply of smiling cute babies is limitless? Or just go to youtube and see this smiling baby, Here is how it happens mostly. Husband and Wife give birth to baby. Struggle to feed, clothe and educate the baby. The baby grows up and marries. Then husband and wife give birth to baby. Struggle to feed, clothe and educate the baby. And this cycle goes on. I see a selfish transaction here. Baby forgets to look after parents. The debt of being fed, clothed and educated is forgotten. So where is the human and loving transaction here?. Rather it is better to look after your parents. Maybe it made sense in the past where there was such a thing as a family. In this modern world the definition of family has changed. I am happy for you that your kids will not be part of the rat race. But most do end up in this rat race.
 
Posted on 12-20-12 7:27 PM     [Snapshot: 883]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Man, this woman or man is going too far.

OK, we got it, we got your message = don't have babies (she/he is shoving her/his philosophies down our throats).

first of all, a female deliver baby not husband and wife like you stated. hubby offer sperm, which fuses with ova and the embryo develops into a child in a female womb and finally she/he comes out. your own child's smile is more priceless than watching others at a daycare (what sort of analogy is this?).

yes, every human use resources and more babies means more consumption - so don't make more humans (OK, WE GOT THAT). but now you are trying to change the mindset of every sajha visitors with your crappy ideology.

you have to come up with a more convincing arguments than reiterating the same.

finally, u don't wanna make babies - go ahead but spare us with ur remarks.

OK- I am outta here. time to feed my 7 kids.
 
Posted on 12-20-12 7:31 PM     [Snapshot: 897]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I don't know which one is right whether to have kids or not to have kids. It should be totally the decision of an individual. But in our society, other people which includes everyone from parents to relatives to friends to neighbours to colleagues, I mean literally everyone become concerned or speculative if the couple don't have kids even after two years of marriage. They start to guess that the couple must have some fertility problem..blah blah blah. And in case they really have such problem, then their life becomes hell facing all kinds of pressure from the society.

However, I have noticed one thing, people without kids love other people's kids more than people with their own kids do. I mean when people have their own kids, all they are concerned about are their own kids. They give a damn to other people's kids. Having own kids surely make people more selfish. This is my observation which might not be correct all the time. Pls share if you guys also feel this to be true.

 
Posted on 12-20-12 8:10 PM     [Snapshot: 962]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Haha Snowfed bro, it is good that you sound mad because you will remember this topic, and hopefully you will be able to see it from the other perspective in your immediate life. On the contrary it is people like us who are shoved opinions down our throat.  And every child's smile is the same regardless if your own or not. They are magical. That is why the youtube video is such a hit.


 
Posted on 12-20-12 8:39 PM     [Snapshot: 994]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Freedom2012 ...dont spread crap....not every child's smile is the same. Every Child's smile could be apealing but the smile of you own child is way way more special than just any other kid. I do not even have a kid and i can tell that for sure.

Whenever i am around Kids i am usually busy observing the parents because they are more interesting than the kids themseles. Their eyes dialate and the face glows with smile, pride, satisfaction and other emotions when they talk about their kid. The kid does not even has to be an above average in intellect or the looks but the parents think worldy of them. They never get tired talking about their kids and also hope others to keep on asking questions about them. If everyone's kid give these parents a high of ciggerate then their own kid gives them a high of a cocain. Just an observation.

 
Posted on 12-20-12 10:30 PM     [Snapshot: 1125]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Freedom, I get where you're coming from but come on, so what's the point of us living then? Should we all just kill ourselves because we're enslaved? 

I'm really grateful that I was born - to see the highs and lows of life, to witness sorrows and cherish happy moments. 

In any case, this isn't moving anywhere. You're in luck as the chances of people asserting unwanted opinions are slimmer as you're in the states. For many people having kids is sort of a matter of blessing and pride - something a majority of couples plan to do. People aren't going to be happy if you try to tell 'em that having kids is a bad idea. 

Good luck! 

 
Posted on 12-21-12 7:49 PM     [Snapshot: 1497]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Whoever had the idea of making human beings was a terrible idea. It was a recipe for complete disaster because human beings turned out to be a very smart selfish animal. Infact humans are the worst animals living on the Earth. They established full cycle of torture. They kill animals and sealife for their consumtion, cut down forests, pollute the land, air and water, put species on the brink of extinction and as well they kill eachother in the name of religion, for land and resources. First they fight with other countries, with other religion, inside their own country and they have fight inside their own family. Two brothers fight for money and don't even talk for years. See how selfish are humans. Now they wanna grow up their number by having children and later they will fight with their parents when they get old. Humans are already deteriorating the Earth by overpopulating their numbers - and still are not ready to realize this situation even though they know about it. I am not trying to say I am from Mars.

Well my life is good and there is no gurantee that I will keep continuing it. Life is tough sometime and I am not complaining about it either. The Earth is full of bad, unethical and selfish people - no way we can change that. The way things are going on will be more tough in coming decades. Just ask yourself, do you want your children to have tough life ? Its time to rethink. Its not 200 years back. 

Somebody's posted innocent baby's laughing video in youtube - people liked it - I like it too. Somebody says that when they arrive from work they become happy to see their childrens smiling face. There are not good enough reasons for me to have kid of mine own. I go back home from work, I am just happy to be there. I go out with friends, I am just happy to be there. I am not saying I dislike children. I just don't wanna add to the over populating world and be sorry for my child later. If I find any child needs parenting I might adopt one. 
I am just concerned about the future situation of our planet. I also know my comment won't change anything. Its like a drop of water in ocean. Its just my thoughts. You are free to do anything.
 
I think the purpose of life is not to have kid. I even don't know what is the purpose of life. Some people think the purpose of life is to have child of your own. I don't think this is right. If you wanna have child of your own, find your resons to have that child. Why do you think you have to have it. Think twice. If you see couple with no kids don't talk bad about them behind their back. Good Luck. 

 
Posted on 12-21-12 8:11 PM     [Snapshot: 1514]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well said monkey bro.
I had a guy tell me once what the point of my life was if i did not want to have kids. Riddle bro above also is asking same. I asked the guy that how does he know what the purpose of life is? I told him even dogs reproduce but we as human have brains. Perhaps my role is to help to depopulate the world? It is a fallacy that the meaning of life is to have babies and that without having one life becomes meaningless. My reason is that i see a cruel world out here and i do not want my child to go through this.I remember my childhood, honestly if it was that same life, i would have kids. But we as humans have gone past that type of life now.
The purpose of this thread is to make people realise that having babies is a small deal not a BIG DEAL it is made out to be. It is also to make people realise that harping on "have babies" is equally as irritating as harping on "dont have babies".
And Sidster bro, for me all babies are equal. Their smile means the same to me.

 
Posted on 12-21-12 8:27 PM     [Snapshot: 1545]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Last edited: 21-Dec-12 08:57 PM

 
Posted on 12-23-12 10:41 AM     [Snapshot: 1875]     Reply [Subscribe]
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"I am doing others a favor by making a few less competitors for the resources. So Thank Me! It is because of guys like me your kids will have some more resources. More Water, More Rice."

Your practicality is hindered by your rationality.

 
Posted on 12-23-12 11:26 AM     [Snapshot: 1918]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Interesting thread
Here is my thoughts
If you have 0 kid => You are helping to reduce the population right now.
If you have 1 kid => You are helping to reduce the population in this world in near future.
If you have 2 kids=> You are not helping at all. You are burdening the world with more population.
If you have 2+ kids => You are worst. You are making earth a miserable hell
No offense to anyone who has 0,1 2, or 2+ kids. But that is the truth
 
Posted on 12-23-12 12:13 PM     [Snapshot: 1953]     Reply [Subscribe]
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By not having your own kid and  adopting you are helping population control

By having just 1 kid, you are helping the world to reduce resources consumption and reduce population

By have just 2 kids, you are neither harming nor helping the society. You are just replacing you and your spouse with two kids.

By have 3 kids, you are being little selfish and taking more resources than what you should

By having 3+, you are just a selfish


Just an opinion...not the truth.



 
Posted on 12-23-12 12:28 PM     [Snapshot: 1964]     Reply [Subscribe]
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You guys should first grow up, get to the age where you seriously think about having a family..discuss this with your partner and then judge others adults who have made this decision.
Also, saying no-offense doesn't mean the offense isn't there.
 



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