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 Wives

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Posted on 02-25-08 7:47 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I got this mail and would like to share

TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......

AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT !!!!!!

 

WIVES DEFINED BY DIFFERENT PERSONS



DavidBissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.



Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.


Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?


Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.



Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."


Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."


James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second one didn't."


Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...


Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.




Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.


Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.


Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."


Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


 
Posted on 02-25-08 8:29 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hoooooooooffff can't stop laughing

 
Posted on 02-25-08 9:10 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Uh Huh!!!!

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE

It means...Without Information Fighting Every time!

WIFE says No, it means -

With Idiot For Ever.  






 
Posted on 02-25-08 9:15 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very nice aviator ... Finally had a good morning laugh ... Keep the posts comming plz ...

 
Posted on 02-25-08 9:17 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Parbatya ..... Very funny .. Could not stop laughing ....  nearly toppled myself off the chair ...lol ...

 
Posted on 02-25-08 9:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Great post!

Amen!

            This is simply one of the best post I've come across.  This is true many people have said in past that women couldn't be understood by any means. Taking that into account i have cut short my desire for women. Now if you are a women do not read here after. I don't want to make you feel bad, turn you off, and give you a feeling that i am a maniac of some sort (yada yada yada) you women might think of me. Being said that, through my experience and the relationships that I've got in and out of I have came into the conclusion that the only place women are good are in bed. But I do want to differentiate women in one kind of role that's truly a superior form of women. When they play the role of being a mother they are gentle, soft, loving, caring (i ran out of words) and all the good qualities that women claim in other roles which they have but actually they don't. As a heterosexual male the only time us men want women is to make love in different positions. If you are a male reading this don't fake saying there is love, caring,sharing etc. I'd say screw that. For us men we only do that to get into more love making more and more, whenever we want wherever we want.

           And that's a true fact. If you deny that label yourself as a hypocrite. All men want is bone as many women as possible. I don't blame us (men) for this since we were genetically engineered that way. It's not our fault. Same with women they engineered in such a way that they are equipped with something then men cant live without. I mean this was done deliberately. So that there is a balance. If women didn't had was men really wanted and something else could reproduce beside women. They would have been extinct by now. No men would care about women, forget those chocolates, red roses, diamonds and valentines day! Why are they there? Those are the strings that connect to women and makes it easier for men to fulfill their desires.

          Women are really judgmental species. Every time a women comes across a men she plays game. Believe me she would have a screening process to judge you with all dimensions possible. She would judge you in and out from your wallet to the ring in your finger. There are question that they ask are particularly designed to see how you react? and other clues that you might give. Like us men we make assumptions but they with their word play get the fact right away. Well yeah some of us are smart and don't boast or hide few things here and there but some of us are happy to brag about ourself. Take an example, you see a boy and a girl they go to school together, he gives him ride to and from school and to her work too. In fact they live together. She is always with him yet she claims proudly, "WE ARE JUST FRIENDS" in another word what she actually means is this guy is so stupid i can flip him like a burger anytime i wont and guess what? he does not even complain (LOL) and they laugh hehehehehe (annoying of course). You must hear them when they talk to their own kind and make fun. Feel sorry for men like you who ain't getting any meat and only working like a dork. If you are one then break off the web you are in and get what's yours. It's now time that you chew the sandwich with the meat. If not then let her go and tell her, "You are a parasite, find another host, another fool to roast."  And take that tape  worm out of your rear. (take from a song that i heard long time ago)

         Who said marriage is a great institution? It's not an institution, its a false  propaganda created by the society to stop polygamy, back then women were only treated as sexual object and reproductive instrument . I give credit to you for reading this all the way and if you have come up with a conclusion that i don't respect women then you came up with the right answer but you are missing the important part of the answer. Yes, i don't like the roles women play as a girlfriend, friend, lovers, wives, aunts, nieces, sisters etc but there is exception  like everything has an exception. I respect the role women play as a mother thats simply is the greatest achievement that a women could even attend in their entire life is being a mother. Being a mother they don't judge their children, they don't think what they would get back in return for bringing their children up. They don't care about their husbands and always put their children first. ("I salute all the mothers") You are great and you are what makes me think that there is at least one good reason for women coming into  existence. Greed, selfishness and anger are not in her dictionary when it comes to her child. There is a meaning for love. And yes love makes sense to me now. That is love. I'll say it one more time, "That is love." For the people who are out there and think that you are in love with a women then you are in an illusion. That love simply means you provide me with what I want and I'd let you have what you want whenever I feel like.

        You might argue saying, why they built Taj Mahal?, Why do they sing song to make women happy? Why do they always compromise ? There is lot more to it then just men spending their money and their power. Similar to the game that they play they challenge you to come up with something that no one has ever done and which she  find is creative and interesting. And if you take it in a simple word all they mean is your a "P" if you aren't doing what i want you to do. Take an example here, An average  married couple live in the suburb near the city and they make $70k combined. With him making 45K and she making 25K (most of the time it's he would makes more). She want to live in a big house with swimming pool in it and wants a hot ride and more time for parties with family and her friends. So how does she attain these superficial dreams? She manipulates her husband. She would proudly  acclaim he/she are living and making the  same money as we do.How do they live in a big house? how do they ride fancy cars etc. She would bug him to death asking for it. And he would get into the point that he should do that in anyway to just keep her shut. And another thing women do is they hold love making to fulfill their desire. Which in turn frustrates men. Marriage or any other relationship does not make sense to men without love making. It's something identical to gun without a bullet. So he would do it anyway. And their world turns upside down as  she takes more time off to enjoy what she has. While as he busts his rear. Now if you are a male tell me this? Is that fun? And yeah to add some salt to it how about you have 2 kids "waaa waaa daddy (crying in background)" Think about it for a second, getting married thinking that it's what society wants you to do? Think about what you want to do? Not what society wants you to. Now i am not saying be an anti social. The point here is you press the button when you want to and dont be button in the first place. Don't get over played. Yes this is very true "every men needs to get married at some point of his life because happiness is not everything."

         I could go more but looking at the clock tick and looking at all the other great things life has to offer beside women, i need to stop here. For few kind people who think I'm sexist, arrogant, indifferent and all the other good things that comes into your mind put it on that empty space and click submit. Thank you for reading my broken thoughts laid out randomly.

For humanity,
YekloYatri

 
Posted on 02-25-08 11:18 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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YekloYatri- very nice! Copy that essay on your answer sheet when On one of your exams you'll be asked "Prove that your head has two parts, On the right part nothing is Left and on the Left part nothing is Right!!"

Good Luck!




 
Posted on 02-25-08 1:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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You are right in a lot of aspects Yeklo yatri and Great post, but I think that not all womenare the same just as not all men are the same. Infact, none of us are the same.Great reading your post; keep up the good work of writing.
 
Posted on 02-25-08 1:54 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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ramailo bho padhera.. khub hasiyo

keta bihe hunda haschha keti biheko belama runchhe kina thaha chha?

ketako tyo din i mean biheko din last hashne din hore tehi bhayera hasheko..

ketiko chai last rune din hore i mean biheko din tehi bhayera royeko re..

 
Posted on 02-25-08 2:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I have a few more ...

  • Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked "petite" and hold on to the receipt.
    (Anonymous)

  • I said to the wife, "Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one." And she said, "I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis at number 23."
    (Max Kauffman)

  • One man's folly is another man's wife.
    (Helen Rowland)

  • I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
    (David Bissonette)


 
Posted on 02-26-08 9:51 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks everyone for responding! Like a coin has two sides, I see that your criticisms and comments are addressed in the same manner. Thank you.

Passionate Dreamer,
YekloYatri

 
Posted on 02-27-08 12:37 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yekloyatri,

Your name and your post are completely in sync with one another. With thoughts like that, there is no doubt that you are an alone traveler! I honestly think that you would absolutely wn a prize if you were in a creative writing competition. I think it is a great achievement to be able to write a WHOLE essay impromptu, in a joke thread in sajha! And with you HIGH level of creativeness about women... you would totally hit the first prize. I agree when you say that men like you would not require women AT ALL if others.. or men were able to get pregnant and have babies too. Men like you would be able to come out of the closet freely, and OMG... you would totally be able to step into the role of a mother that you admire and cherish so much. Imagine those 2 babies crying and calling you mommy... aww, thats probably your dream come true!

On a serious note- A lot of women are choosing to remain single nowadays, do not think that men are a necessity for the women of today's world. I pity the woman you might one day marry- either you have been badly dumped by a girl, or you are bitter because you did not recieve some girl's attention! or worse, you were probably the "friend" some girl used like tissue. Shit happens... get over it. Some women are exploitive but so are men. If men did not wag their tails behind a woman and act like a love lorn romeo with their hearts in their sleeves, the woman would not be able to exploit the man in the first place. If you seriously think that women are so evil, then take my suggestion and stop drooling over every other woman you see! Stop being a hypocrite yourself, and then maybe your ramblings would actually make sense. Open your mind.. look around at the real world before blabbering out your unworthy views. Grow up, and life will seem much better for you.

Have a good night!


 
Posted on 02-27-08 9:03 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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         I am mighty glad to see people (including women) responding to this thread. Let me retract what i've mentioned earlier. Now i am not the kind of person who would start a hate thread nor i would go after anyone who might have a different stand on any kind of issue whatsoever. Ok!  My posting comes with a warning, if you could scroll up and read third line i have explicitly mentioned  this,

"Now if you are a women do not read here after."

          How stupid could you be jumping in a water if you cant swim? How stupid can you be if you keep driving when the sign says, "dead end"? How stupid can you be if drive around the same street twenty times and miss the house? My post is totally dedicated to all men bachelor and married not for women. As i knew this post would be counterintuitive and women wont be pleased since it wont make any sense to them, I reassured the readers that if they happened to be females quit reading. I have read this somewhere and it says, "Even god is afraid of stupid people" and further elaborates saying, "Stupidity has no remedy" I've been believing on this for years and now i am very certain looking at the above comment. Since someone proved it without any errors. Kudos to you.

           This was only directed as reading material it was nothing in personal since the thread started with a humorous topic so I happen to expand the other aspect, thus giving the readers a different approach and a mix match of feelings. Now it's not my mistake that you ended up in a men's restroom even though you had a logo stating clearly and you had men coming in and out as you can see. If you had a bad day and you happen to read this thread at night and let your emotion take over you then help yourself. If you come to this virtual arena and take a reading material which was created for fun and entertainment so seriously that it causes serious trauma i want you to start taking proper medication or rather reach out to a psychiatric. More comments on how much people hate me or think i have gone insane are expected. Once again thanks for reading.

To god almighty,
YekloYatri



 
Posted on 02-27-08 10:25 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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You've not gone insane YY. You're so damn right about what you think of these creatures 'WOMEN'.

"There are question that they ask are particularly designed to see how you react?" can't deny it, always all the time. Keep on coming brother.

 


 
Posted on 02-27-08 2:07 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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YY, Wow, and this thread started with a joke. I'm hopping that my wife will not read this but You were smidgen bit generous to give women that much credit regarding child rearing. Living in the USA, some fathers have to do it all and I'm a living example that my kids will not miss their mommy a bit but if Daddy's late coming home, the hell will breaks lose. Some one once said, if it was not for the sex, I'd be gay in a heart beat...But without even getting married, where did you see so much misrery to be in this league?
 
Posted on 02-27-08 2:47 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Boy! What airs!!!! 

 â€œIf you are yekloYatri, please do not read hereafter”

 SmileyCentral.com

How Stupid you could be to catch a running bus and try to change the destination of the journey?

How foolish can you be to get deluded into thinking that the nonsense you typed could make sense to any sane person(BOY/girl)?

How Dumb you can be to perform a task of profound mental ineptitude and instead of admitting it, go off on others?

How mulish you can be to label some trash as “fun” and “entertainment”.

                Mister! Next time you get on your soapbox about women psychology or create a reading material for “fun” and “entertainment” to whip up public opinion, at least make sure that you haven’t popped into the wrong place.

I’d read somewhere – “Drama Is a disease.”

 

So, get well soon!               


 
Posted on 02-27-08 3:17 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Man that was real...

 
Posted on 02-27-08 3:35 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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''Bachelors should be heavily taxed because its not fair that some men live happier than others''
 
Posted on 02-27-08 5:52 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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YY...did you come up with that test coz you found a forwarded email of that sort ?








(answer not needed )

 
Posted on 02-27-08 10:11 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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         Due to this unabated encouragement from Rythm and Aviator, I'm pleased to announce that i'd be coming up with one more controversial topic that would rip their honey pots into pieces. Thank for these great valuable comments that works as fuel to the flames. The way i look at it is another thread to read and another laugh to gain but some people here are really serious! They want to create fresh animosity and if you are one of these people mentioned above then as i have suggested earlier proper medication and psychiatric help is needed immediately.  And i really appreciated people who have contributed to this thread (even though i am not the originator) but people are responding to my random thought and i'm honored. Thank you once again for taking this thread into 2000 views.


With Pride,
YekloYatri

 



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