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 VANILLA

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Posted on 03-11-13 1:38 PM     [Snapshot: 79]     Reply [Subscribe]
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what a brilliant piece. Hats off to you behoove.

 
Posted on 03-11-13 1:44 PM     [Snapshot: 86]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Your best piece yet. Best story I have read in sajha as well. "You never cease to amaze me" - right back at ya, sir!

 
Posted on 03-11-13 2:09 PM     [Snapshot: 86]     Reply [Subscribe]
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“Weak people constantly need to be reminded that they are loved, stronger beings do not give a f*&k”

Applaudable 



 
Posted on 03-11-13 4:32 PM     [Snapshot: 256]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Serial,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I tried to steer clear of conventional stories this time. Still not sure if visitors like this or not and as I read more into it, I see more flaws.

Anne,

Compliments from someone like your means a lot to me. I might have surprised you only this instance, but you have always amazed me and will continue doing so.

Adventurer,

Appreciate that. Those were the words from my mother, except that she didn't curse, and used in a different context.
 
Posted on 03-11-13 11:53 PM     [Snapshot: 488]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dang, this is going to be hell of contest. Everybody is great, behovee, eclectic, annehathaway and other. OMG, don't know whom to choose.
Great read behovee, You're a word nerd bud.

Last edited: 11-Mar-13 11:56 PM

 
Posted on 03-12-13 4:10 AM     [Snapshot: 554]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Behoove broda,
U should put [Mature Content] in the title in your story. ;)
Keep em coming bro. 
 
Posted on 03-13-13 7:36 AM     [Snapshot: 816]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Karnali,

Appreciate the plaudit. However, competition was the last thing on my mind when I wrote this story (and I believe other writers think similarly as well). I have said this before and I say it again, I write to vent and I write for myself. But I still am not sure why I post the stories in sajha. Maybe I need a little encouragement and a little input here and there, I am not sure. The only reason I shared my story in the 'story' section of this website is because San wanted to recognize quality writers and maybe it is a good thing that we all read plausible stories which are well crafted instead of someone falling for some stripper and spending more than he earns. Again, I am not sure if I am a quality writer at the first place, but I do feel blessed being around people like annehathaway, lynx, alternate, thuldai, fucchebhai and somewhereonearth and many more.

Juggy,

I would call it more of a passionate content than a mature one. But then if you are not implying pornography with mature content, I am good with that. But with that being said, how would I handle so much likes and views triggered by the mere title of my story and not the content? :)


 
Posted on 03-13-13 8:10 AM     [Snapshot: 818]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 cudn't resist myslef from commenting to this wonderfully brilliant read...(my first ever comment here in sajha)...
hv been following sajha for quite a while now and KUDOS to wirters like you...makes sajha a remarkable site to visit..
keep 'em coming..CHEERS!


 
Posted on 03-13-13 9:08 AM     [Snapshot: 881]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 haha behoove broda. I was just pulling some legs ( u know nepali baani, k garne jati gare pani jandaina. ;-)). It is great to see you guys writing here in sajha. I am now hoping for Sitara, Oys_Chill, Lekhak, Deep and Jeera to make some comebacks, you know just for old times sake. :-)
 
Posted on 03-13-13 10:20 AM     [Snapshot: 921]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Great storytelling. Havent read much of you, and dont know if this is your best yet (as others may have pointed out) but I will certainly be looking to read more from you.

You've got that ability to catch people's attention. Like the "xxxxxxxxxxxx" to show that the plot changed, like words to garner sudden interest (e.g. a person from Nepal listening to Tom Waits) and increase the cool factor by x, plots to target a specific case that will get people criticising and in essence talking about it. You are a rockstar in writing and if it were to get to box-office you would achieve it.

Also you use a lot of quotes. The way I read such stories is read it out loud. Feels lively, and yes sometimes some dialogues will seem pretentious and some sentences will seem clumsy, but that is the beauty of writing meant for oral presentation. 

You deserve a like, and Gluck for the winning. More so, please write often.



 
Posted on 03-13-13 12:01 PM     [Snapshot: 952]     Reply [Subscribe]
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a very nice story.

 
Posted on 03-14-13 8:52 AM     [Snapshot: 1122]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sajhappl,

Thank you. I am honored. I shall keep visiting sajha as long as time (and mood) allows :)

Juggy,

I knew you were. As far as writers from yesteryears are concerned. I am apprehensive about Sitara and Oys_chill, it seems that they have permanently bid sajha goodbye. I believe Sitara is writing for a bigger audience these days, although google seaches came out futile. Deep, Jeera and Lekhak might still make a comeback, I read from them not very long ago.

Sleepless,

Great feedback, thank you. I have realized over the years it is all about managing the control of how you write. Readers here demand a quick read, we all lack patience of reading an epic and I try my best to shorten my stories without missing out details. I am not sure how successful I am, but at all times I wish I could write like few other writers here.

Bachata,

Many many thanks. :)




 
Posted on 03-14-13 10:07 AM     [Snapshot: 1169]     Reply [Subscribe]
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i read it all in one breath.You were born to write, my friend.
 
Posted on 03-14-13 11:39 AM     [Snapshot: 1231]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Great story.
Just wondering if majority of males are slower than they are supposed to be in the bid to wear this mask of being a gentleman. Been in a similar situation once..

 
Posted on 03-15-13 8:41 AM     [Snapshot: 1352]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Alche,

Thank you. I am not sure if I were born to write or else I would be raking them moolah, haha, but I have been trying, hopefully I will be better one of these years.

Gwach,

Appreciate that. And you have raised a valid question about inability of men to 'score' during such situation. See, I believe the integrity of man varies with the degree of libertinism in women, and vice versa (although women are found to be far less promiscuous than men, no data to support this, but I am sure someone has proved it empirically).

There are three types of men, the good, the bad and the NAS (I am not sure if you heard of him, but he was an interesting character in sajha not too long ago). Good men will never score with good women unless allowed. Bad men will always think about scoring and jump headlong if they find such women vulnerable. People like Nas would think about scoring even with mother Teresa and might even do so.

Therefore it all depends on types of men in general and what types of women they are with. However, the fact is - all men want to score one time or the other (no brainer there). :)


 
Posted on 03-15-13 2:43 PM     [Snapshot: 1427]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 How the heck do you do this??? Smooth....
 
Posted on 03-15-13 2:57 PM     [Snapshot: 1427]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 awesome read !
 
Posted on 03-16-13 2:23 PM     [Snapshot: 1541]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Duderino,

Appreciate that. I attribute it all to brevity if anything, but it is not flawless by any means.

Bhakte dai,

Thank you very much.
 
Posted on 03-20-13 4:56 PM     [Snapshot: 1704]     Reply [Subscribe]
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The best in the lot, by far!
I tell you, beehoobhe, DO it when you could have! Just do it! "Nike" it!

 
Posted on 03-20-13 8:29 PM     [Snapshot: 1763]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Poontedai,

When stalwarts like you comment on my thread, I get overwhelmed with gratification. And following your advice, I will NIKE it next time when such opportunities present. If people have started forgiving Paras, anything I do should be condoned :)
 



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