V2001
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 Let's Offend Everyone...
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Posted on 09-16-11 1:39 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 1. I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
  


2. I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.  Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
 


3. A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.'  I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '
 


4. I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.  When I came out, he looked at me and said  'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you’re still black' 



5. A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning.'  'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'


6. Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.  But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!  





7. Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.





8. I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I’m going to take that.'




9. Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. ‘You’re in that basket.’



10. I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

 
Posted on 09-16-11 1:46 PM     [Snapshot: 36]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Good ones. Very offended. Let me go back to my guard duty.
 
Posted on 09-16-11 5:41 PM     [Snapshot: 181]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 09-16-11 11:05 PM     [Snapshot: 328]     Reply [Subscribe]
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what do you do when the dishwasher isn't working???????




*******tell that bitch to get back in the kitchen***
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.))
===========================================================================================
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
=========================================================================================
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

=========================================================================================
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

========================================================================================
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'
=====================================================================================

*****



 
Posted on 09-17-11 1:47 AM     [Snapshot: 431]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Keep it coming fellas !!
 


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