However much you love your country, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to leave for more salubrious climes. You have to take the bull by its horns or, as they say in the trade, hoist yourself up by your own petard.
We have grass in Nepal, and you know as well as I do that it’s good stuff, but the weed always looks greener on the other side. We understand why you want to go and can only wish you godspeed, happy grazing and bid tearful adieu with the words: “Good riddance.â€
So, since space is a bit limited this week due to commercial encroachment, let’s not waste time beating needlessly around the bush and plunge headfirst into ten reasons we think we should all get the hell out of here:
1 The World Cup is over so there is no longer any justification at all to drive erratically, get to work late nursing a hangover, and give the boss a headbutt.
2 The ceasefire looks like it is here to stay which means the only excitement left for us revolutionaries is to non-violently bash up night shift doctors and nurses at Patan Hospital, vandalise the windscreens of all pressure horn-equipped Sajha buses on the Ring Road and block traffic at Battisputali for two hours because this stubborn industrialist’s wife refused to allow us to paint graffiti on her gate.
3 Now that the monarchy is not absolute anymore and the comrades are smiling for group portraits with senior functionaries of the Hotel Association of Nepal we may actually have to get to work rebuilding the country.
4 They’re making it impossible for us wilful defaulters to live with dignity and flaunt our wealth, how can one live in a country that doesn’t respect one’s can-do attitude to take someone else’s money and run?
5 There are no more antiques to smuggle out so one may as well follow the artefacts one spirited out of the country in the past and become a museum exhibit oneself.
6 A man has to go when a man has to go.
7 There is just too much petty corruption, and not enough major kickbacks, graft and grand larceny on large infrastructure projects to make it worthwhile anymore.
8 Oh dear, the budget has just raised taxes again on beer, pan parag, auto parts and marbles.
9 To take a bath.
10 The Public Accounts Committee of parliament wants to recover money distributed to us journalists by the royal regime but we’ve spent it all on pan parag already. Bye.
Source :
http://www.nepalitimes.com/issue/306/UnderMyHat/12147
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