Contd.....
There was no letting up. It was only a matter of time the deluge started again-
âWeâve found a perfect gal for you in the US. In fact, the mother called us and pleaded that you add her in FB. All you need to say is yes!â my father conveyed the prospect beaming with smile
âIf it all works, we should start planning marriage dates to give your siblings enough time to take holidaysâ My mother joined in the skype, of the certainty of the latest prospect.
Hold on a minute â I protested âI donât even know who u r talking about!â
âYou will â sheâs the only daughter. You donât want to lose out on this oneâ echoed my sister from the back.
It was the super-full moon night in August. We chatted frivolously. We exchanged numbers. We called and talked through the night â about family, career, childhood, and everything in between that may lay in the future. It seemed natural. There seemed a connection. The stars seemed to be aligning in my favor in a long time. Or so it seemed.
The next day, she sent me a note that she was going to be away and may not respond for a while. A mere three weeks into this note, I saw pictures of her engagement in FB. Rather perplexed and slightly angered, I sent her a note on why she had not told me as adults? She responded by unfriending me. Next, I took my anger onto my parents, who also seemed equally perplexed.
âPoor Mom. She had no idea her daughter had a BF in USA. She called this morning and apologizedâ A familiar theme of disconnect of parents from their children in the foreign land. It really was nobodyâs fault. Well, except her's :)
My parents may have stopped bothering me for a while, but the calls about someoneâs âamazing daughter, niece, friend, sister, colleague, and acquaintance who is a perfect fit for meâ continued on. Sometimes Iâd just get CVs of random girls and asked if this is the right fit. All I could say is relationship- especially meant for life has to be gauged through more than the piece of stellar paper right?
Still I talked and learned a lot. About women who wanted to travel around the world. About women who didnât want to be tied to family. About women who wanted to climb Kilimanjaro and do all the trekking. About women who wanted to go on safaris. About women who wanted to run a big business. Or even become a singer and/or an actress. All noble dreams indeed â yet no one seemed to have given the thought of settling down. And most were only talking to me as they were coerced by their families, just like me.
âHow come you havenât done any travels?â âHow come you just started working?â âYou donât have Instagram?â âWhy havenât you updated anything on FB?â âWhy didnât you go to Adeleâs concert â it was thereâ Came their quizzical replies. It seems to me that, as we grow older, the expectations from our potential partner exceeds those of the very potential partners. We live in a world where no one wants to compromise, perhaps the reflection of spike in divorce we see more regularly among our friends and families.
âMaybe you can also check out the girls while youâre in Nepal? After all they are all educated these days and much beautiful than the ones in US!â My mom suggested a solution one day trying to make up for her failed attempt earlier in the year. Why not? I shrugged.
âLove at the time of fuel crisisâ I weaved romantic notions once more when I landed in KTM. It was only a matter of time I met a doctor in electric pagoda in Thamel, a place I loathed once but a quiet sojourn amid the crisis. Sipping hot rum punch, the doctor conveyed with a smile âYou see, my seniors suggest, if I marry someone like you, my career will stall. I am already giving my USMLEs, and I donât want to wait here for years.â If for nothing, I enjoyed her candidness, and for that matter picking the tab more than in Manhattan.
Next, at the posh Le Trio in Jhamel, amid the whoâs who of the bygone era sipping their lattes and cappuccinos, we ordered jhol momos which took two hours, but we were already finished with our talks. âYou see, I really donât want to go to the US. I donât want an apartment life like yours. I donât want to work so hard that we have to eat lunch at our desks. I donât want to work weekends. I have a decent job in the INGO here, and I have a lot of fun, and I get to travel. I think I want to marry someone from here. I have heard enough from friends about the hardship in the USâ The theme resonated on the next two set-ups, be it in trendy cafĂ© in Baluwatar or the Jazzmandu in Lazimpat. Things may seem like a lost cause in Nepal, but among certain circles of Kathmandu, life is beautiful!
âNo one can marry without the right laganâ My mom tried to cheer me up, on a cold November evening, wrapped in the blanket watching me pack. âJust ask Shankar. He saw at least 50 girls. And when it happened, it took a mere three days!â I stared her down, packed my suitcase, and headed back.
For the first time in years, I felt a tinge of loneliness in my apartment. We do have an apartment life here. I mostly have to eat at my desk. I havenât traveled anywhere in years for the sake of saving my status and career. I donât see my friends regularly. Family seem so distant.
I lied in the rug in the floor and longed for a life back home â at least the social life. My phone pinged. An email from an old friend-
âItâs been ages. How are you? Did you marry your gf?â
âNo. we broke up. How about you? Are you married with kids?â
âNo. we broke up a while ago.â
âWhy are we emailing like this? Donât you use g-chat?â
âNo â common this is fun. I donât have g-chatâ
âI didnât know you were single. Maybe I can flirt with you?â
âYes sureâ but do you know how to?â
âI donât know, but Iâll try!â
âYouâre so stupid- you know. I have always known thatâ
âIndeed â I have been very foolish. I have the wisdom to prove itâ
I remained in the floor that night emailing back and forth, charging and recharging my phone- hoping, wishing, and contemplating the unknown future with my fingers crossed. And best of all, talking freely without any coercion in more than a year. It felt great.
You see friends, it has been the best of times. And the worst of times!