यथार्थपरक छ, तर अझै राम्रा शब्दहरुको चयन गर्न र कवितालाई छरितो आकार दिन सकेको भए भावको बहाव पनि राम्रो हुन्थ्यो कि?

I thought I'd provide a twist to this poem:


म त्यस्तो देश को नागरिक हो
जहाँ आदेश को पालन गरिन्नन >> Good thing it's not a dictatorship.
जहाँ बुद्ध को बचन् पालन हुन्नन >> One guy's doctrine is not the absolute truth; again, good thing.
जहाँ मान्छेले मान्छेलाई छुन्नन >>respect of personal space.

जहाँ दाइले भाईलाई लूट्छन
>> No nepotism.
जहाँ बुढाले बुढी कुट्छन ।।।
>> No reverse sexual discrimination.


..........

म त्यस्तो देश को नागरिक हो
जहाँ हरेक मान्छे राजनीतिमा हुन्छ >> Well educated and cognizant
जहाँ पिउन-हाकिम एक्कै भत्तिबाट निस्कन्छ
>> Happy hour enjoyed by Boss and Secretary alike.

जहाँ घुस् बिना हजुरको फाइल पिउनकै टेबलमा अड्कन्छ
>> Even low-tier staffs matter.

जहाँ कुरै नबुझी जनता तेस्सै भड्कन्छ ।।।

>> They have strong emotion and aren't constrainted to suprress their feelings.


See..it's all good.

हवस जिते दाज्यु , म अझै प्रयास गर्दै जानेछु राम्रा शब्दचायेन र भावका साथ.....
अनि हजुरको सुझावको लागि धेरै कृतज्ञता ......
@kiddo ..... Every negativity has some positive side to it ..... sahi ho thank you.

Jay Nepal aama.

 @ kiddo:
जहाँ हरेक मान्छे राजनीतिमा हुन्छ >> Well educated and cognizant 

यो कुरा त अलि हजम भएननी! नेता हरु educated ?  ल अब सबै हासौं !

wah wah wah wah!!!!!!!!!!!if you think its all that bad why dont you go back and do something about it instead of writing all these pretty poems and crap. Who do you expect to lead the change? aaas baki cha re lol. laxmi le baas garos re hahaha.so you wanting other folks to go there and make it all better, until then what are you going to do??what?? you writing this poems will make it better ho?

I am sick and tired of people talking shit about nepal. We all know it is bad ok?? But no need to talk shit about your own country. If you think you have become so much better compared to 'pakhey nepalese' since you are educated overseas, why not take an initiative and do something about it rather  than yapping your mouth like a hypocrite. Writing all these pretty poems wont make our country any better. Do you feel proud that you have written this poem, choice of words wah wah. i applaud you sir. I wish it gets published in some books. wah!!

 Bajra,
Thank you ! I feel the same way!!

If you don't want people to talk crap about Nepal, what do you expect people to do? Talk great about Nepal? People talk about reality and if reality is crap they will talk about crap. Who are you to tell others what to talk about?

You cannot ask a person in siberia to talk like he's on a vacation on the carribean on a cruise ship.

 Yeah talk crap but WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? thats my problem. It is easy to say this is wrong, that is wrong but what are you doing to make it right rather than talk shit about your country? You are probably happy with your life in the US making $$, have you ever thought of contributing your knowledge and maybe some of your earnings to help out?? Yeah situation in nepal is not good, WE ALL KNOW THAT! but are you just going to let it be so we can write more poems, more essays about it and talk about the how bad nepal is everytime we have a nepalese gatherings? Why not talk about what needs to be done, bring some incentives. Reality is crap I know that so you think YOU ARE LUCKY that you made out of the crap? You feel so happy that you probably will never go back because you are SO ALLAYEDwith your amazing life here in the united states?? Or maybe you plan to go back when you have made enough money here in the states and want to live your retired life there right? lol. So you want to go back to the CRAP place when youve become a crap yourself right? am i wrong here? because thats what I hear in most the nepalese gatherings and it sickens me to my stomach. I dont want to hear bunch of lectures about what nepal is, what is there in nepal to be proud of etc etc because to me all of you are bunch of selfish so wannabe called patriots.

WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF is everytime I talk about some incentives to do something back home people are rather very discouraring and suggest me not to go back and laugh at the ideas. Lol. so called wannabe patriots.  That is the fact? am I wrong here?

मन छुने भाव छ| लेख्दै जाम लेखाइ अझैँ निखार्दै जाम|  

Bajara question for you. Are you in the US too if so maybe you are going through the dual feelings. The more you stay in the US you will start to have stronger duality.

So what have you done about it or what are you doing to do about it? Just talking about what you're going to do is not enough. You have to go back and do something then you can talk about it. What's the point of coming to the US if you want to be doing something for Nepal? 

So you would rather that people stay in Nepal no matter what the condition is?

 patan, yes I am also in US and I do have duel feelings like you said.  I admit situation in nepal is not good but. But isn't that an oppertunity for us to do something good? For me the point of coming to US is learning the systems here, get some work expereince here and implement that in Nepal. I understand there are lots of things lacking in nepal to get it started but there i also see the oppertunity where I can use my knowledge and expereince. I do know of the risks and am aware I WILL not be able to accomplish this myself but that doesnt mean I go talk shit about nepal. Btw yes I am working with some other professionals like myself who are also interested in implementing the field in nepal. 

if you cant even do anything why even talk shit? If they dont even care why even bother talkin about it? Why does it matter to them what the situation in Nepal is, please tell me..Why do you care what the situation of Nepal is? If you are doing so because it is YOUR country, it is where YOU came from, doesnt it make you selfish and a hypocrite? or are you just not wanting to admit it?

Bajara if we follow your logic, we should close down all newspapers and nepali blogs and radio station and TV that talk about all bad things that are happening in Nepal.

Let's get real. You cannot deny the truth. The first step is to accept the truth then you talk about it and try to find a solution together.