What is your feeling about this??
Today, i really had a social work day.. all day i was like dropping this guys to research, other guy to grocery, and to bank.. and so on.. at the end i was like.. r u really kidding me?? i own car... so is it my fault?? then why i gotta spend my time, energy and money just to keep on helping others.. i always have been the one who loved to help people.. that's why i usually dont say "no" when people ask for help like rides.. coz i think if i don't who else is gonna do it for them. besides none of my other roommates own car.. but i think this is getting me nowhere coz i have my own problems too, why i should leave the comfort of my room and my work and dress up time and again so that i have to go to meet somebody's friend...m pretty sure most of students in US have gone through this.. What do you guys think about this??
you remind me of my past lol...
Mr. D, you are going through what I have once been through. Yo geet suna bro you will get relieved.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLRHjPwUjS8
The easiest solution : SELL YOUR CAR.
"na rahyo bash, na bajchha Basuri"
I can totally relate to your situation Mr. D. Even at times, although you have a car, you have to go along with others' schedules. The courage to say NO is really, really difficult. But if you start at some point, people will find alternatives.
However, at the same time, when i didn't have a car, I also used to bother my roommates and classmates to take me to grocery, pick up this and that. I know I can never repay them, so, to give it back, i usually don't say NO. But at some point, I have also developed that courage to say "NO" when the request doesn't align with my schedule.
Yeah...reminds me of having to give five six people ride to school,work....and at different times....lord that was good old days
do they at least offer you to pay for your gas once in a while? tyati ni garena bhane chai matokni afai ja bhandeu.....i have been in both situation and even when people have said no they cant offer to drive me i did not mind. I'm the helping kind too but when it gets over board i tell them NO. Trust me they may not like it at first but they will find a way to understand later. the more you keep it to yourself the worse it will get because they will keep thinking you will always be there.
@chaurey, you sound rite.. i think i m giving that kind of impression...
also i don't how you guys have experienced, but fror me usually like when a white friend of mine here asks for ride or sth.., they say straight like.. "ok if you drop me there, i will pay you $10 in gas, would you?" and they dont even really expect me to do it meaning even if i say no they dont mind.. but when it comes to a nepali guy, he is like "puryaideu na yar" and if you say no they will like keep on asking why and so on.. do u think it is due to the kind of culture we gew.. the way we deal with our friend...
Mr. D, l'm laughing at you.. reminds me of myself and why I live so far from these nepalese community.
they don't know about GTPS, don't even have simple manner to behave, they think it's nepal. :D
mr d its really hard to say to friend and relatives no u just can't say no also directly who knows they may mind also . the better idea would be to give ride to them one more time and explain them why it won't happen next time and stick to it .its ok to say no in the begining but it may be rude so polite way is to do what i explained above
Last edited: 17-Dec-11 03:25 AM
मित्र, निस्वार्थ सहयोगी भावना हुनु भनेको मानिसको उत्तम गुण हो। यस्तो गुणले मान्छेलाई तत्काल सुख र शान्ति दिन्छ। यस्तो गुण हुने मान्छेको सर्वत्र प्रशंसा हुन्छ। साथसाथै यो सकरात्मक कर्म हो र यसले अनन्तकालसम्म सकरात्मक कर्मफल नै ल्याउँछ। त्यसैले, आफूले गरेका राम्रा काम खेर जाँदैनन भन्ने कुरामा हामी ढुक्क हुनु पर्छ। भावी जीवनमा विश्वास नलागेमा कमसेकम यसले हाम्रो वर्तमानमा प्रसन्नता त दिन्छ नै। प्रसन्न मनले गुणी जीवन दर्शाउँछ।
माथि उल्लेख गरिएका कुरामा विश्वास नगर्दा यसमा मलाई के छ त भन्ने स्वार्थी भावना मनमा उत्पन्न हुन्छ। स्वार्थी मन भनेको प्रदूषित मन हो र प्रदूषित मनले गरेका राम्रा कामको पनि नराम्रो फल ल्याउँछ। हामीले अनुभव गरेकै कुरा हो कि मन भारी बनाएर सहयोग गरेको कुराले मान्छेलाई तुरुन्त दुःखी बनाई हाल्छ। त्यसैले हामीले आफूलाई असल बनाउने हो र त्यसको लागि हामीले आफूभन्दा उच्च कोटीको गुण भएकाहरुको अनुकरण गर्ने हो।
हामी सबैसंग सहयोग लिएको र दिएको दुवै अनुभव पक्कै छ। सहयोग दिंदाको मज्जा लिंदाको भन्दा कयौ गुणा बढि हुन्छ। अनि सहयोग लिंदा पनि त्यो दिने प्रति कृतज्ञता जाग्छ नै। जसमा त्यो जाग्दैन तिनीहरु दयाका पात्र हुन न कि आलोचनाका।
नेपालीको गुणी पहिचानलाई हाम्रा साना-साना उदाहरूहरुले अझ बलियो बनाऔ। निस्वार्थ सहयोगी हातहरुलाई मेरो सलाम !!!
sahyog dida didai kohi lutina aati sakyo..
testo chahi alik no hola ki ahiley ko samaya ma..
homlai baajey ko kura sunda ta nikai ramro cha, tara ahiley ta dherai 'abuse' garcha ni dherai sahyog garna thalyo bhaney..
pachi pachi ta, teska bau ka rin khayeko jhai bewaar pani garchan kohi kohi ta..
pyaccha bhani haalnu parcha.. kaha kura ghumai-ghumai garney ni.. america ma mann parey, ' I like it' bhanney..
mann naparey , ' I don't like it' bhanney, kurai siddhiyo..
eh yesley k sochla, eh usley k sochla.. bhandai samaya bitauna thalyo bhaney, tehi ho..ani ta 'raam naam satt'
mr. d , mailey bhaneko suna, yeso bhanni timro friend/roommate lai ' mitra ho ahiley garo cha, gas ko bhau kaha pugi sakyo, mero alikati kaam cha aafnai, yo garnu cha, tyo garnu cha bhanney ni.. yaha time is money, I need space, you guys manage now on.. please don't mind ' bhanney kurai khattam.
afu bhanda neighbour ko elder haru lai, " mero yaha janu parney cha, uha jaanu parney cha, kaam cha bhanera taarnay gara na. ek dui choti teso garey pachi, uni haru ley kura bujhi halchan aafai' "
aba keti pattauna lagya bhaye chai, khuru khuru mana.. j j bhaney pani.. hahahahha.
Thank you all for your inputs!!
homlal, reading your post i felt like i was listening to some Lama, or gurus.. i am always been the way you said and maybe, due to that reason, i have been very lucky in most cases...
and
@bittertruth, thanks for for valuable suggestion.. definitely what you said is the most practical thing.. which i have experienced myself.. though it is a bitter truth.. but ya that's how people deal today..
Mr D, you should be proud on yourself for what you are doing brother, In America, there isnt anything like helping roomates who dont have their own car or rides. I know its tough for people like you but you will always be blessed. There was a time when I didnt have a car and have to wait hours to catch a bus to get to work or college. But my roomates they never said no , whom I respect more than my own brother helped me every single day and I would never be able to pay them back. Thank you friends for being like a family even at this place where money stacks up with every hours spent.
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