What part of Teej is for women?

So, before writing this post I need to clarify that I don’t know much about Teej. I wasn’t born or raised in a family that celebrates Teej and I’ve never taken part in any of the festivities. What I have gathered is this: Parvati wanted a good husband so she fasted and Shiva was so impressed by her devotion he decided to make her his bride. As religion settled into tradition, I’m led to believe that till date women still fast during Teej – married women for the well being of their spouse and unmarried women in hope of a good catch.

The funny thing is, when talking about Teej I’ve seen a lot of people sum it up as a “women’s festival” but the more I ask questions and the more I see groups of women taking over streets in their heavy ornaments and glittery red saris I start thinking: This is a festival for MEN, but with all female participation.

Sure, it’s a time for women to get together, but the aim isn’t to empower the finer sex, it doesn’t strive to bring equality, nor does it try to remove the foot of patriarchy that is still stepping on them.  If anything, it’s yet another Nepali tradition where men are lauded as gods and where lowly women are to fast and show their devotion to husbands and future husbands.

As a non-Hindu, modern, educated woman, I’ll look at Teej and say a loud, “No thank you”. (Plus, why do we womenfolk need an excuse to get together and have some fun of our own?)

My further issues with this festival include the worship of Shiva’s “manhood”, I mean, if you’re engaging in sexually activity and you’re pleased, go ahead and tell your man just how happy he makes you, but to worship a stone that is symbolic of male reproductive organs unsettles me just the slightest bit.

Let me be frank and pose a question – is there anywhere in Hinduism that celebrates a vagina?

Maybe there is, but I’ve never heard of such a thing, and if such a thing does exist, it certainly does not garner as much attention as Shiva’s piece. I mean, really, could you be any more sexist than to worship his schlong? It isn’t even a suggestion, or symbolic, or nor does it leave room for sexual innuendos because it is just… so… blatant.

Ugh.

So, besides fasting for a man, pouring milk over a phallic stone, the third component of Teej that I’ve heard about is the eating, or perhaps I should say overeating. I believe there was an episode of Tito Sattya last year that comically warned women of the tendency to be gluttonous. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, I read something in the paper of women dying from eating too much – does that mean everlasting prosperity for their husbands since she must have done some serious fasting?

What really disappoints me about this is that women continue to subject themselves to “traditions” of this nature. I’m not saying that we should eradicate all the chapters of our “culture” that are Hindu and in high favor of men, I’m just suggesting a few edits. If the Vatican (in all their ever so embedded traditionalist and conservative ways) can bend their stance on contraception (even if it’s only to allow male prostitutes to wear a condom in order to risk being infected with HIV), I don’t see why some changes can’t be brought into the way we celebrate our culture.

I propose a day FOR women, to celebrate her work, her trials, her love, her care, her hardships, to really appreciate the goddess in her. And it would be better if women AND men were to take part.

Saani has no real goals and aspirations but she sees opportunity in everything and goes with the flow. This is probably because she loves exploring and discovering. She writes for fun but for the same reason she also cooks, reads, and spends a lot of time on random websites that offer a chance to learn all sorts of tid-bits on life!