शिक्षकः FORD (फोर्ड) माने के हुन्छ ? बिद्यार्थीः गाडी .....। शिक्षकः गुड । अनि OX अक्स, अक्स माने ? बिद्यार्थीः गोरु । शिक्षकः गुड । यसरी नै तिमीहरु राम्रो अंग्रेजी पढ्दै गयौ भने अक्सफोर्डमा पढ्न सक्छौ । अक्सफोर्ड भनेको थाहा छ ? बिद्यार्थीः अक्सफोर्ड भनेको गोरुगाडी सर ।

On their Marriage Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

tele a woman Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tele-a-Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

that gadha one was great one dude.........keep up the good work........

A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena, The person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.

Santa asks: Who r u? Wife: How dare u forget ur wife? Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto. Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only' Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye? Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye. Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? Doc: Haan, bilkul. Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai. Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi... Jeeto: Koun si film thi ? Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi ! Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in love. Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? Santa: Suicide karne ke liye Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For you and your parents Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya. At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha? Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main. Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi. Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga! Banta: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio! Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao. Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ? Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu's skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary. Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...! Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga. Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey? Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note' Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery' Sardar strikes again!! Sardar declares: .. . . I will never marry in my life &. . . .. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . . SARDAR talking on cell. 2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho. 1ST: biwi se..... 2ND: itne... pyar se....? 1ST: tumhari hai. . . A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'. SLAM BOOK filled by Santa. 1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto. 2.Weakness:Banta' s wife, Preeto. 3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour. 4.Threat: When I am on tour Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr. Santa went to Mysore palace. Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!.. Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab, He wanted to save money so what did he do? Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call. A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil? Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE. One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village? Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!! Teacher: A for? Sardar: Apple Teacher: Jor se bolo? Sardar: Jay mata di. Sardar orders pizza. Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces? Sardar: 4 hi karde, 8 khaye nahi jayenge A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn't turns up for four days. Lady calls again. Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out 2 sardars were fighting after exam. Sir: Y r u fighting? 1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank, Sir: So what? 1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied. Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money. Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

Collection of some funny leave ( not Love) letters ... a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ... 1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave. 2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.." 3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.." 4. From H.A.L. Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave." 5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" 6. An incident of a leave letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday." 7. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today" 8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day." 9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..." 10. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..." 11. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave". 12. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." 13. A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post. Enjoy

Sweet

Kids LETTER TO GOD

Kids LETTER TO GOD

Kid's letter to God , Contd..

Dear God ... Please make australia lose to srilanka ... a.t

Exactly yeaholiday....f**k australia and all those mofos in their squad.....vaas and murli will flip them so bad that they will quit playing cricket.

कृष्ण – डाक्टर साव मेरो साथी विरामी भएको छ हेरिदिनुस् न डाक्टर – ठिकै छ म जाँच गरौला कृष्ण – जाँच गर्ने त कुरै नगरौ डाक्टर साव जाँच दिँदा दिदैत फेन्ट भएको यो ।