"Bharyang Muni ko Rana " ---- A short story
Ma ta arko nasakunjel yo napadhne!! Suspence ma rakhera lekhena bhane k garne!! :P
Long ago, I heard that "Bharyang muni ko wife," sentence frequently pointing Ex-PM of Nepal, Judhdha Shamsher Rana, and his Jawalakhel's Place, now Staff College.
Juggy, Sorry!That story is pretty long. I need some more time to finish it. This one I have almost finished. You can expect its next part tomorrow.
Tmobile, I strongly recommend you to read the second part.
Wonderful narration! I am waiting eagerly for the next part.
Very nice narration!!I am eagerly waiting for tomorrow to come!! :)
Amber -
Loved it! That last line especially was a good one :)
Very interesting themes at play - mistakes, second chances, moving on, forgiveness versus revenge - great job!
:)
excellent plot and it's not so easy to narrate a plot like this coz of the subtleness of the characters involved! a bit of love, bit of sex, bit of emotions, parenting, childhood, mysteries, accidents, realizations, admittances ..wow! you surely can be a good story-teller! :P.
i believe in strength of the plots and the delineation of the characters rather than petty details and grammars and all, but if you could polish to get rid of some of the obvious errors, you can go for publication and am not kidding! thanks for this "gift" ! :D
LooTe
Interesting read and a very well plotted story.
Hi Avani! LTNS :) Hope all is well. You should come to the Nautankiland thread sometimes ;)
(sorry for the digression)
Hi Captainji...hehe..all is well..hope you and the nautankiland crew are doing good too..And thanks for the invitation..i'll surely think about it re kya :-) Have a good one..
Very interesting plot Amber..loved it to the last word..thanks.
:)
It is really a superb piece of writing! Loved it!! Simply awesome!! :D
Keep writing!! :)
Dear Amber,
Your story spoke volumes of old forgotten epics of what ever happened in those imperial mansions, succinct to its best, it is a masterpiece crafted to perfection. Kudos. However, could you tell me the exact feeling Kiran had for Rajani if it were no love? I happened to pause at this particular line for a long time. How would you describe this mode of affection?
"That incident opened a new avenue for their relationship. Kiran felt a sense of responsibility towards Rajani, a different feeling which he could not and never would accept as love"
Baisakh 1989?
or
April 1989?
Kobe and Shaq don't mix and you know that!
;p
I will read the epic story on Friday.
I see rave reviews on this one too.
Good for you Amber!
:)
---------A few days before Holi he announced.†This year there will not be any Holiâ€.
“Life always comes full circleâ€, he thought.†I have to stop it at any cost, I don’t want another Bimal “.-------
Hey Amber, what do you think, Kiran did not want another Bimal or more then that, he did not want another Kiran.
Captain Haddock/Avani/Sndy/Juggy- Thanks for your words of encouragment.
John Galt- Kiran never loved Rajani. The class difference was hardwired in his brain from the childhood. He could not accept the idea of falling in love with someone like Rajani . However, he considered it as his duty to protect Rajani from Road side Romeos. Of course, he had something for Rajani other than love or call it more than love, but not the same kind of love he had for Kirti's mother( his legally wedded wife).
Lootekukur- I will definitely try to improve next time. That was one honest suggestion though. Thanks. Glad that you like this "gift".
Mr.Hyde- You are one typical reader.You first review the reviews and then read the actual stuff. Don't believe in other's judgement.
PervertedMind---- Thanks! Exactly, kiran did not want another Bimal (i.e continuation of Bharyang Muni ko Rana Generation) and he did not want another Kiran, "the one after the Falgu Poornima Episode".
GREAT PIECE.
COULD EXTEND IT TO MAKE IT INTO A GOOD NOVEL...
I am glad you took it as a constructive criticism.
btw, i second lunatic. the piece certainly can be extended to a novel. i couldn't believe you told the whole story in 2 parts (hardly 4 pages? )..hmm..i like the terseness. good on you girl!
Was Rajani by any chance a bharyang muni ko Rana herself? Could it be that she was an illegitimate child of thulo raja, Kiran's father? Hmmm... ewww... oh those Ranas and their disgusting lives.
ya Riten same thing was tickling in my mind too .... if it's so then umm..it is really ewwwww :D
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