A horny boy This Saturday it really got hot for rabindra. He is 26-male and unmarried so he is getting desperate and curious. Then he decides to do it. He makes his mind that he will go to Thamel*1 today whatever happens. He is hearing too many good things about Thamel from his friends; the massage center, the erotic atmosphere and the aroma of young flesh. He was making up his mind for this thing a long time back but he was afraid of being caught by the police and having his name published in the local newspaper. Besides that, he is from a much respected family. But today, his adrenaline is driving him crazy. No more porn movies and filthy strokes in the bathroom he thinks, he has to experience a real woman now. And he is also getting close to marriage. So, what at the time of his suhaag raat*1 it happens that he doesn’t know how to do “it”. His wife will not forgive him for this first unpleasant encounter. His parents were already forcing him to marry and he was also getting excited by this idea. Every beautiful girl he meets, he is beginning to dream about her as his wife. Only last night did he meet Priti, a beautiful girl who lives next to his house that he realized how beautiful she was. He never looked at her in that way but yesterday he was surprised himself. He imagined Priti in a beautiful saree*2 and she was cooking a tasty meal for him. How tired he was returning from a day’s work in the office but as soon as he is greeted at the door by Priti’s warm smile, he forgets everything. What a life! He sighs. That happens only in heaven he thinks, the moment you desire something the moment you get it. But, this is earth and for dreams to be possible here a miracle has to happen. Why doesn’t god perform miracles at least sometimes he thinks, so that the dream he just saw becomes a reality. Why do people have so many desires and have them unfulfilled. Why can’t god have such a system where every desire of every organism is fulfilled? If god is so powerful and he can do everything, why can’t he have such a system? He thinks and thinks but doesn’t get the answer. He is not that much philosophic in nature but today he realizes that he can really think in this way too. Desires are powerful enough to transform people’s lives. Tring Tring ..that’s the call from Suresh he guesses because this fellow has promised him to take him to Thamel. “Hello, Suresh , where are you?, Ok, I’ll be waiting for you in Thamel Plaza at 3, bye ”. Everything is fixed now and Rabindra can take a very relaxing bath. A one hour is spent rubbing his body all the way through. He is waiting desperately for Suresh in the restaurant being very cautious in case somebody finds him. They reach the sunayna massage center and wait at the reception. Suresh is whispering something in the ears of the lady in the counter. “300 for massage, 1000 for sassage, that’s the rate”, “ok ,but is the girl good?”, you’ll never find girl like her anywhere”, “ok”. Suresh asks him to pay 1000 rupees and he is taken inside a secret room while suresh heads into another. The room is very dark and is filled with a peculiar scent of a woman who has just given birth and going through the adjustment process. Finally, the wait is over when the girl switches on the lights. Indeed, she was very beautiful and the counter lady was speaking the truth. Do you want a massage first or do you want ..she stops. This was her first question and Rabindra didn’t like that. What a frigid and rock hearted lady she was to begin with such a question and what an unromantic beginning to a new adventure he thinks. He expected her to at least ask what his name was, what he does and at least ask if he liked her but instead her first question was.. Where are you from? He asks the girl in turn. “Taplejung, I just came here 2 months back”. She continues. “I was married to a drunkard and he used to beat me whenever he was drunk. I couldn’t tolerate this anymore and decided to come to kathmandu though I had a baby boy in my womb. After coming here, I didn’t find any work. I was without food and water for days. Then I met the sister of this massage center. She gave me a place to stay and here I gave birth to my child.” Rabindra’s lust instantly turned into sympathy as he heard this story. “and where is your child?” oh, he is in a small chamber next to this room sleeping. I keep him there as customers don’t like the fact that I am a mother. After I’m done with them I look after him.” This last sentence made Rabindra mad. A volcano of guilt arose inside him. He felt as if he wanted to cry very badly and wanted to erupt.” I don’t know why I am telling this to you, if Nirmala didi*4 finds out she’ll kick me out of here, but you seemed different, so..”she stopped again. Then she started to sob. She was trying to hide her agony but she couldn’t as she began to weep gently. This was the first time in his life that Rabindra felt such a strong emotion towards somebody’s pain. He felt that he also wanted to cry along with the girl, that the whole room was in harmony with their pain. He wanted to hold her and give her some consolation but he couldn’t. How beautiful she was but everywhere she only came across demons who just wanted to play with her flesh and nobody gave her love. He was beginning to realize that if he stayed there for some more time , he’ll lose himself and become mad. Something stroke his mind and he took out his wallet. He took out a note of another 1000 Rupees and handed it over to the weeping girl and hurriedly left the room without even looking at her. “What happened?”, the counter lady was suspicious “Nothing, I’m done” he said and raced towards the exit. I need love not sex, he murmured as he disappeared into the streets of Thamel.