An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two
months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a
pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a
call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and
distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani
suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but
I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her
life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a
$4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and
$2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand
firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f**k her again.
lol!
its funny! :P
thx 4 sharin
keti haru lai khub has uthya chaa yo joke sunera.
yestai ho horny bhaye pachhi ki kaso maiya haru ho
it is not funny it is pathetic
tyesto ni joke huncha.
A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took place.
The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. "
Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a caution for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."
The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR FU**ING MOUTH!"
The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the t ime?"
The wife said, "No, only when he's over drunk."
"Loyalty" it's a man thing..................................
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
i liked the 'toilet paper' one most.
haha...i liked the first one the most!
The three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands shook.
The first geezer said, ‘My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!’
The second old fogy one-upped him. ‘My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!’
The third old man laughed and said, ‘That’s nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times.’
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!â€
The blind man replies: “If you would’ve put a rubber on the end of YOUR STICK, we’d be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!â€
A man is having problems with his d*ck, which certainly had seen better times.
He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, “Sorry, but you’ve overdone it the last 30 years. Your di*k is burned out. You only have 30 erections left in your penis.â€
The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem.
He tells her what the doc told him.
She says, “Oh no! Only 30 times! We shouldn’t waste that! We should make a list!â€
He replies, “I already made a list on the way home, and I’m afraid you’re name isn’t on it.â€
Bholaji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."
The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Bholaji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc, surprised,says "touch your head."
Bholaji touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Bholaji touches it hurts like hell.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays,MRI,cityscan etc... and tells Bhola to come back after two days.
Two days later Bhola comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..."
"Oh yeah? what is it ?"
'You've broken your finger!'
I had heard that last joke before. But it was about a Blonde instead of Bholaji.
How do you accomodate 4 blondes on one chair?
Invert the chair upside down.
Please log in to reply to this post
You can also log in using your Facebook
