Just sharing her to throw out my agony and pain here. Its been 2 weeks out of KTM valley. I haven't found any NA meetings or place where i can share? I am not asking for any suggestion or help. This is just give and take session here. Just a hope and courage session. Today, i know the power of sharing. Whenever i get change to throw out, i love to do that. Lately, even i have been visiting church to confess being hindu as well. Anyways all i am asking here is to listen. Thats all frenz I met this gal in Nepal during my marketing session. She is working for this big foregin company as marketing executive. She was very impressed with me on just a call. She thought i was not Nepalese. She call me in her office on morning. I went there well dressed as deputy director of my company. That is what my business card reads. I told her my name is KC. She thought i was kasey. Well she was shocked to see me as she was expecting some other citizen. We have a long conversation for hours. She loved the products and quality, i was providing. I offer her good price then what she was getting. You know me, i start to flirt with her. I was able to get her mobile no. I told her " do u like coffee?" , she smiled and said Yes, las kush in thamel has nice brewed coffee. I told her i prefer nice roasted beans, I dont like filter coffee. She told me they have best coffee in town. I looked at her and smiled then asked her if it is possible to go for coffee after work. She told me, if i am free laterz work. I told her that i will call her after lunch. well blah blah blah, aba mero guff ta gai halcha ne.... now we start to date each other and it been going since then. She is from birjung and was married. She dont have any kids. She lives alone in flat with her sister. I do spend lot of time with her. She is newar and well u know me...........i am kc. I love her but she dont have any plan to get married in future so far. She says she is not mentally ready. She wants to stay with me as now. Well, lets say we are almost like husband wife. We meet each other often. We go to lunch together as our office is15 min away by walking distance. I spend lot of time in her house. I stay there and we even has just changed decor in her flat from curtain to carpet. We both have put our dreams and desire there. I spend every saturday and sunday with her. I dont mind to stay like that forever with her. In other hand my family is forcing me to get married and whenever i ask her. She says go ahead but she will still be my first wife. The gal i will marry will be my second wife. She says, she wont get hurt. Whenever i face this reality, it is painful. I have told my family about her, they say it is not ok, If i want i can go ahead. They are just doing it for my shake coz they are afraid that i might be alcoholic again. She has also bigger role to change my alcoholic to recovering today. Just cant understand my life .....always get in strange situtation....never had a normal as other have. I am responsible for it as well. thanks for listening uhi recovering addict moneyminded