I have been working in an international company here in the US since a year. I am a senior scientist and expert in the field and work in the similar capacity. I have this south Indian co-worker, who acts very rude to me. I am in general easy going, simple person that works hard and in volume. This guy is junior to me and has been working since past almost three years.
This guy talks well with others but ignores me and I have a feeling he does have some passive aggression towards me. He sucks up to the khaires and especially seniors. I have a khaireni colleague whom I know from my grad school (we were in the same research group). She is junior to me and works with the same designation as this Indian guy. He kisses her ass and acts as the nicest guy in the world but when it comes to me he acts like he is some kind of big-shot. He never admits he does not know something. He "knows" everything.
Every time I see him, it makes me feel cringy. I have a feeling he backstabs behind me and bitches about me with other junior staffs too. Because of his attitude, my work-life balance has been little affected. I feel like not wanting to go to work as it gives me too much negativity. My boss and other seniors like me. They have implemented changes I initiated. He is also liked. I have some feeling that he is insecure with me. I don't know, I might be wrong.
Do you guys have any Indian co-worker that acts that way? I've read a lot about such attitude (Kiss up, kick down) in Indian at workplaces. Please share yours and suggest me what I should do. I really am starting to hate this guy.
What if Nepal is a state of India? Many Indians think Nepal is part of India. They have reasons to say that. We beg from them and at he same time we back bite them. आफ्नो खुटा मा नि उभिन नसक्ने, अर्काको सहयोग पनि लिने अनि... उही हो नेपाली को बानी. कसैले भन्थ्यो, कृषि प्रधान देश मा मल छैन र बन्दैन - भारत बाटै ल्याउनु पर्छ जलश्रोत को अपार भण्डार मा जल छैन, जल बिद्यूत छैन भारत बाटै ल्याउनु पर्छ भात धरै खानु पर्ने देश मा चामल विदेश बाट ल्याउनु पर्छ. कति छ कति एस्तो कुरा हरु त.....
@Hussain_Khan: yes we get help from India. No denying on that. So does India gets help from other countries. But that does not mean one has right to interfere in sovereign business. If you see recent incidents with border where Indians have taken over Nepal's land by force. We are not back biting we will tell in their face if required. We normally don't go looking for trouble when we have no reason for it. But they do because they think they are superior.
Again this is government issues and one or two bad potatoes superiority feelings. Cant say it to all.
We buy stuff from India as America buys stuff from China. It's solely specilization based trade. Why do some Nepalis feel inferior to Indians just because they buy stuff from India. In 2015 india had to break tje illegal ban to Nepal because their products were rotting in borders. Americans neber feel tjey are inferiors to chinese just because they buy things from china. Learn good things fro. Your adopted country. Grow a pair and si.e self respect my gorkheys brothers
ehho2: You are missing the point, kid. This is about respect. I am not sure if you have ever watched those curry smelling indian movies but FYI, in a lot of them, they portray Nepalese people as Bahadur GATEKEEPER! Now, don't tell me your punk ass is okay with that.
Vitch look again what I have written .punk ass I am against indian mistreatment, not for it. I was telling fellow Nepalis that we should not feel inferior because we get stuff from India cuz we pay for them and we don't receive them as charity. I was trying to build our self respect and I hate it when they think we are gatekeepers.
I agree with most if the points from @____ . That's quite a name, while I disagree with some of his/her points. I think personality and attitude is a very personal trait, tesaile I try to see each person on a case basis. Mero ramro indian sathi ni cha ani attitude dekhaune nepali sanga pani vet vako cha. Yo nation based garib mentality haraunu paryo. We say Indian this and that, but Indian ma dherai ethnicity ani sub ethnicity cha. It really doesn't matter who is what color. Euta s-indian ramro sathi cha mero, because he understands and is logical, hard working . Tara euta nepali thiyo ko sanga ali thak thuk paryo - you know why, because tyo nepali was a bully. Jahile ni hochaune, j garda pani yo tyo vanne ani mache ko agadi badar banaune. It was just building in me, and I just had to stand up and I did it very strongly. He just fucking lost the day I picked up fight with him (not physical but verbal) and i found many people in my support, because that guy was an asshole. So, take your time to analyze the situation, do not act erratically. If you work hard and are genuine and are surrounded by hard working and genuine people around you they will realize, your boss will realize. If you need to stand up take some time; if talking with that person helps go for it l, but here is a suggestion - If that person got too much attitude and has a bullying me mentality talking won't help.
If you think there is something you can do something (communicating, passive or aggressive approach) to improve your situation, go for it; think throughly. If you think negativity is inevitable, just move on from that work place. Sometime fighting helps sometimes it makes it worse, sometime avoidance and ignorance are better. Take your time before you take any action.
Doesn't matter what country, color, ethnicity you are, we all are humans. I have seen bootlickers, morons and smart people in every color, ethnicity, even in degree earning people.
If a person hasn't been through really difficult situation in life to learn a lesson, he/she isn't going to be humble. There is much more for that person to learn. If a person has always seen and learned to cheat and thinks that's the way to success, that person isn't going to be humble. If a person hasn't had enough love in life, he/she isn't going to be humble. Learn a person, and you cannot see through somebody over a bottle of beer. Take a approach you think might help, else move on. If you cannot win the situation over it will affect you.
Let us know what you ended up doing. Just for a lesson.
Life and Business are like war. Work place is a battle field, fight it to your last breathe if you are right. There could be subconcious mental phobia at play. Fuck that subconcious mental phobia that could having implanted some way as you grew up that he is some indian and you should be different or special to the guy. Do what is right and rational my friend. Kick the stupidity out of the guy if you have to but respect the good ideas based on circumstance. Don't stay silent . Have the leadership and winners attitude. You cannot make everyone happy. All the best.
I had a similar experience when I started working than asked the person why he was acting like Bihari in the land of Stephen curry , I started calling him Bihari directly which he could not report to corporate as Bihari meant nothing , I gave him a bloody Bihari time until he quit , they are all Biharis tell them they suck , sad for yr situation , Ps we all started calling him Bihari sooner or later than he quit , never seen again
I am currently feeling the same, left good job for better compensation. Now I am regretted working with all Indians. They make small group, talk their local language in the office. Do not know what to do.
I had a similar issue at my workplace. I used to have hard time working with some of the Indians. But most of them know that I'm a full-time employee and U.S Army Veteran so they never try to mess with me. And I hang out mostly with whites and Asian at my workplace. Always have that attitude that you are better than Indians. And actually, south Indians and Punjabis are friendlier than northerners.
My updates: We have had a "peace" pact. He got a promotion recently and is in a position similar to mine. He definitely had insecurities because of me. I got more independent role; I pick my own projects and mostly the difficult ones. And I will get a promotion from mid year. GC is already under process. He does not have strong subject matter knowledge. I exposed him. Now he asks me questions whenever he has. I answer those with a smile in my face. Feels good to see a part of his self dying inside. Like many suggested, I ignored him. He came back to me making conversations whenever he could.
BTW, @gaulejetho, I wanted to respond to your comment a long ago but let it go. Buddy, not all people work for Indians. Nor do they want to, for that matter. Probably you do. Even if you do, you don't have to apotheosize them. I know how Indians treat their subordinates. People like you that prostrate to Indians are the reason these people think that they are master of us Nepalese . Just treat them as your employer, not master. Huge difference. I have, btw, very firm legs, well planted to ground. Great weekend!!
I had a Bengali friend back in the school. He said, it took him 2 hours of cycle ride after getting off of a bus to get his home. Still, he asked me one day, "Hey, do you people have a newspaper in Nepal? airport?" Like, we have not seen Bengal. Superiority complex is badly ingrained in their soul. They think they come from some first world country and Nepal is a "poor" country for them. Bollywood injected fake grandiosity. They come hurling down to the ground, just show them their real face.
I have a hilarious experience regarding this. Encountered a similar ass licking, belittling south Indian with superiority complex. He used to treat me as if i don’t know anything. He used to kiss my boss ass and talk to me in condesending tone. The job that our boss would assign, he would almost threaten me and tell me that any email i send regarding the job, i must send to him first because his reputation is at stake. Days went by and his arrogance was growing. I was beginning to feel dread even to going to work because of him. There was one project which i was assigned independently by luck and i was working hard on it. Our client had a severe production impacting issue which i solved. The next day, beknownst to me , my manager, all managers from other department came in our office. I was thinking, shit, something broke bad. They called my name, i was thinking holy shit, i gotta pack up my shit. Then surprisingly they announced they were there to give me letter of accomplishment and everyone applauded. The look i saw in that indian coworker, oh man, i kinda felt bad for that checkmate. After that he had some respect for me and we started going to bars once in a while. He opened up about his difficulty with getting a girl to date. Then i lined him for killshot and one day took my beautiful gf to the bar and introduced with him. The look on that subramanyum’s face, i will forever cherish.
I work with a lot of Indians but most of them started with fake ass resume , I came with a strong related academic field and had much more knowledge than them. Some were working senior than me when I joined but after few weeks of joining the company , our Associate Director made me the lead and they all started working under me ! Some of them working remotely and when i did meetings for the project , they all thought I was born here cuz I spoke a bit better English than them ! Then when I told them the reality they were all like “oh ..”.. Later on they all started respecting me cuz I could solve the complex problems , even an Indian senior manager was very friendly to me cuz I was one of the best in the team ! Be strong at your job, don’t think you’re inferior to any Indian guy, you’ll be okay . South Indians are usually friendly ... we used to go for lunch together , i never had any issues , I left that company and some Indians still call me and even come to my social event and invite me . They actually feel a bit inferior to me ... I kind of get that feeling but I’m an easy person , I get along with them quite well ....
One more thing I wanted to add..I became sick for few days one time and some of my Nepali friends never bother to visit me but the Indian manger and other Indian colleagues came to my house to know how I was doing , they even brought some Indian herbal medicine ! Not all Indians are bad.