watched lots of movies in life time but never expected my own life to have twist and dilemmas.
love this girl who is my first love (childhood love) and still do although we both moved on.  always wanted her back because i had to justify my love. was it just a childhood infatuation? i am sure it was a sweet true love between 2 selfless individuals. wanted to see the world together holding each other through basic "struggles" of life. its been so long but the little memories that i have are still there. "one will never forget her true love" someone said that right. i agree.
tried to find her face and innocence in many faces. they were all beautiful in their own existence but i was looking for that particular face which i couldnt find anywhere.

decided i wont live happily without her presence in my life and dont wont to ruin someone else life by dragging her to my world of mental and emotional confusions.

and there is this girl.
sweet lovely caring. she is a perfect girl. she has a charm that brings smile in ones face just with a glance of her. she can love anyone and they will love her more but she chose me. wow i am quite surprised. i havent met her in person. just message and phone calls. am i falling for her? i dont know. yes, to a certain level. is it because i find resemblance in her?
i am confused. well more confused to be exact. she doesnt ask me about my past and why would i tell her too. atleast i have the decency not to break her heart by telling her my unplanned, imaginary, full of fantasy love world. is there something wrong with me? i dont know.

i am a matured person. decision making in life has been not that great but have not that many regrates as well. but always fail when it comes to this matter. "let the time decide" ya right "sarcastically". should i do something and move for the change? well can i ?

and i take couple of drinks and kill the unfinished thinking. we will think again tomorrow.