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     Writing a Column
Blogger: Mukesh Khanal, October 10, 2004
    

“Hey guys! I’m trying to write a column for the Advocate, but I couldn’t come up with a decent topic. Do you guys have any suggestions?” I barge into my apartment and ask my apartment-mates.

There are four of them, and each has a different topic to suggest. One of them speaks first enthusiastically, “You know what? You could write about the twelve Nepalese killed in Iraq on August 31st. It’s the largest hostage killing in Iraq so far.”

“Or you could write about the Russian school-hostage situation” the second one speaks out.

“Yeah, but don’t you think people are already frustrated with news of people dying everywhere? I want to write something funny to cheer ‘em up.” I make a stance. I don’t want my column to look like a news report, I think.

“Can you write stand-up pieces?” the third one speaks, a Seinfeld fan, “If you can then here’s one for your column: The CIA has uncovered a plot about the next attack on the US. The intelligence says that the next attack will be in New York again, but this time it’s not the Al Qaeda, it’s the French. They want their Statue of Liberty back.”
All four of them crack at the same time. Writing a stand-up piece is not exactly what I have in mind. It’s funny, and my friends think, ‘chicks dig funny guys’. But the last thing I would want to do on my column is to remind people of Al Qaeda, and there’s no way I’m mentioning the French.

“What do you think?” I ask the fourth one. He’s been quiet, except the ‘Ha Ha’ at the French joke. He scratches his head, looks back at me and says, “Write about the black-holes and how Stephen Hawking recently apologized that his previous theories on black-holes were wrong.”

If I write about Hawking and his theories, not many will understand it. I want everybody to read what I write, and understand, which I’m sure I won’t accomplice if I write about the black-holes.

“Thanks guys! Good suggestions, but not good enough to write about” I express a clear frustration. I go to the refrigerator, take a can of coke out, and sit down on the sofa.
My room-mate looks at me, and pats me on my back, and says, “Screw that column man. Let’s watch a movie.”

“Yeah, screw that column. Let’s watch a movie” I sigh in frustration, take a slice of pizza from the table, take a sip of coke, and we all start watching a movie about some guy called Lebowski, who prefers to be called ‘dude’.


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